A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:Why do I have to obsess over any guy who shows any kindness to me whatsoever?! Basically, I'm 16 and never had a boyfriend, although I kind of yearn for one. And for years now, I start to obsess over guys who I start to like. For example, I met a guy at a concert last summer, and I talk to him regularly on the internet, and see him every so often at gigs. I wouldn't say I'm 'in love' with him, it's more in love with the idea of him, but I do really like him, and he does show an interest in me also. Obviously, there's no chance of anything happening because we live way too far away for it to work.So why can't I just forget about him? I basically stalk his Myspace, just for any insight into his life and I get SO jealous when he mentions any other girl. Recently, I've even managed to make myself upset about him.I know, I will get over him soon, but then there'll be another guy, and everything will start all over. When will this end?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2007): I would seek counceling. I obsessed about guys alot like you and it was really a root from being abused as a child- as I always wanted things I "couldnt have" even though I could of if I let my self esteem rise above the situation. I became a needy person naturally because I was wanting some sort of attention and unconditional love and I kept seeking it in all the wrong places( because I never recieved it from family...) It might help you find the root of what keeps these obsessions going.. hope this helps?!
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (24 May 2007):
 My first instinct is that you're obsessing over this guy in part because you know it won't happen and he's a safe way of fantasising about having a boyfriend without having to take the plunge and get one. When you eventually get a boyfriend this will stop. Why not ask out a guy? It doesn't matter whether you like them that way or not, just get this crush guy out of your system for a while. It'll help.
CD
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A
female
reader, jesackerman  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Unfortunately this will not end, you have a long long way to go. What I suggest is to focus on your school and studies for now. By the looks of your age you'll be attending college soon so just stay focused on that. I'm 28 and my late teens and early 20's alls I focused on was boys and my friends trying to make everybody else happy but myself. Now I wished that I focused on school I'm 28 and just going to be starting my 1st semester of college and could've been done years ago and myself respect instead of guys. Just be selfish take care of yourself b4 anyone else and the boys will be crawling.
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