| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello. I think that I'm experiencing my 3rd lifetime crush. I can only like girls who are older than me. I'm in my early twenties and all three girls I've had strong feelings for, were in their early thirties or so. And the worst part of it is that all three of them were/are in a situation that I couldn't possibly be with them. One of them was engaged, one was a doctor (believe me I couldn't be with her) and this new one is my student (she's adorable). So I had to move on not telling them how I feel about them and I'm gonna do so with my student too. What is the matter with me? See my dilemma ?
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crush, engaged, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 December 2016):
 Do you like a challenge? It sounds to me like you want what you cannot have, it probably makes them more appealing to you knowing that it is not possible to be in a relationship with them.
I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with you, but maybe try looking around and giving other girls a chance. Set yourself little goals. Like asking someone your own age out, giving them a chance.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (4 December 2016):
 I think it's just down to the fact that they're unobtainable that makes them so interesting to you. I've felt similar in the past, almost like it's a challenge to be able to spark their interest. Sometimes it's off putting when someone is very available as there's no reason to chase them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2016): Thanx J.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 December 2016):
 Crushes are most often not acted upon and they rarely develop into anything more. This does not invalidate your feelings and admiration towards that person. Nor is it wasting your time if you can decide to embrace it rather than feel embarrassed or awkward about it. The benefits of having a crush when you are not in a place to have a relationship are that you feel alive around that person. You have a reason to wake up in the morning and perform your best, and to look your best. We also develop crushes on people who are different, unique or have qualities that we wish to have. There's no harm in having crushes. Sometimes wanting is better than having and the cliché is true, that you only want what you can't have. If I were you I would keep my fantasies inside. I like indulging in them. If you really want a relationship and the real deal, then of course you would want to seek out people outside of your circle. It depends on what you want in life right now. Some people are actually happier living inside their heads and being single.
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