A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i sometimes feel pathetic with what i am going to say, a month ago my nephews best friend died in a tragic accident. I first saw his face in the newspaper before knowing he was my nephews best friend ( i didnt know every friend he had ) and i just thought poor lad you could see he was a kind lad you could see it in his eyes. Then my sister told me exactly who he was. Since then it really hit me then at night i would cry and i know it was because he was so young ( 16 ) it was a tragic accident and he was my nephews best friend he had had for years ( 5 yrs high school) also my own son was only 3 month older than him. I really feel for his family he was the youngest of the children a kind hearted young lad who had the world to live for but it was taken and i feel angry for that. I could never imagine what his family are going through but personally i doubt i would have handled it as well as they have so far. I see things and see many people doing things and keep thinking the poor lad never got to do this and that. I dont understand why i feel so emotional ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2018): You're a mother. The tragedy hits close to home; and I'm pretty sure everyone around the incident feels much as you. Not to even mention his parents and family.
Being empathetic is not pathetic. You as a mother could only imagine the grief and pain you'd feel if it would have been your own. You knew the child, and your feelings are quite appropriate. It's natural, it's grief! Your maternal-instinct to be hypersensitive to the tragic loss or injury of a child!
The feelings are quite understandable.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (24 September 2018):
 Empathy, caring person and hormones.
It's a NORMAL reaction, OP.
Like YCBS suggested maybe turn that empathy and caring into something you can use as an outlet? Like volunteering?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (24 September 2018):
 Don't feel pathetic. You feel emotional because you are a loving caring human being and this was a senseless waste of a young promising life which could (probably) have been prevented. You feel empathy for the family involved, who have lost a much loved son. You feel a sense of loss for what the young man could have been and done in his life. This is understandable.
Also it probably brought home to you how fragile life is and how everything can change in the blink of an eye through no fault of your own.
It is still early days but, if these feelings don't subside with time, perhaps having a word with your doctor, or someone specialising in bereavement, might be a good idea?
Or perhaps you could get involved with supporting victims who have lost loved ones suddenly and tragically?
Sending big hugs. Life is not always fair and tragic things happen to lovely people. I am sorry you are hurting so much at the moment.
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