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Why do guys want a virgin?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2010) 16 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2010)
A female South Africa age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Why do guys say that sex with a virgin girl is better/more pleasurable than with a non-virgin? and why do guys want and like to be the one to take a girls virginity?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

I'd like one because I am one myself. She'll be less likely to judge me.

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A male reader, Big Tex United States +, writes (2 August 2010):

because we know she is clean.. and its sort of and acomplishment in a way

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A male reader, werther Sweden +, writes (29 July 2010):

sex with virgins is generally not good because great sex requires two adults who know what they want..... sure you might find a girl who whats to be with a older experienced man and never think about sleeping with someone else or do anything Bad..... Bullshit

that would be one in a million.....

how , if she does n´t know herself , how can she know???

men how want virgins want control...and you cant control someone by keeping them in the dark..... its like not letting women go to school.....

i like to dominate my woman, i have a very strong girlfriend and i want her to submit to me and do what i tell her to do, and she does because she loves me and because she is into that also... we could never have found each other unless we knew what we were looking for........

that takes searching and searching takes putting yourself out there and making mistakes

then you find whats right for you.....

don´t be an asshole and try to control someone who isn´t willing to play that game or role or whatever.....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

Gabrielle grow up. Get some maturity. Stop judging people for their personal beliefs.

I prefer a virgin. I am not a hypocrite. I don't have the gall to think all sexually active unmarried people are sluts or idiots or somehow lesser people. I have a certain type of woman I want that shares my beliefs. Not everyone fits that type. I can accept other people's right to make different sexual choices like an adult.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (29 July 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntSome guys do, not all. Those guys are mostly hypocrites. They are also invariably idiots.

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (29 July 2010):

baddogbj agony auntSimply not so. I for one have zero interest in virgins - I'd much rather someone who knows what they are doing. All the best sex I've had has been with girls in their 30s.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

Probably because knows he won't be compared to previous lovers. Also firsts are usually remembered...good or bad.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

Why do women get so weak in the knees over older and sexually experienced players? Is this good for her? Is this everyone's best interest? Is this fair to inexperienced young guys?

It's just evolution. Women are attracted to experienced men. Men are attracted to inexeperienced women. The picture balances out just fine.

Today we judge men for their natural feelings. We don't judge women for theirs. We say men have insecurity and ego problems for feeling like normal men do. We don't show this kind of lack of respect for young women's troublesome natural attractions.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

I had a virgin when I was 19. Was the least fun sex I've ever had. And pleasurable? No way. She was so nervous and full of guilt, it sucked. She craved it a few weeks later, and then it got better. But it was never great. The best part was showing her all the positions, moves, etc. Best sex i am having is now at 41 with an experienced woman. And she is good, in part to her past lovers who taught her well. Kinda respect them, kinda hate them

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (29 July 2010):

Odds agony auntPhysically, if you are a girls' first, she is naturally tighter than other girls - although even the most widely-travelled sluts can be just as tight with proper Kegel muscle excercise.

It's more an emotional/instinctual thing. On a rational level, we know that virgins are very rare (most guys will never get the chance to lay a virgin, because a significant minority of guys deflower more than one). But instinctually, our brains' aversion to cuckoldry means that virginity is the single surest way to guarantee that our caveman babies are really ours. Emotionally, it's an honor and a privilege to know that a girl thinks so highly of us.

On a more practical level, the more people one has sex with (and this applies to men and women), the more difficult it is for our brains to properly pair-bond with them. We simply become inured to the hormones of love. The closer a girl is to being a virgin, the more likely she is to stay in love and remain faithful in the future.

Additionally, a virgin girl means a guy knows for certainty that she has never had better, more passionate sex with some loser guitarist. He knows that he is the best sex of her life, and that she has never offered more deviant (read: fun) sexual favors to some other guy that he is exluded from. There are also no psycho exes, exes with bigger penises, exes who could last longer, etc. Virginity basically erases 90% of mens' normal insecurities.

Serpico is precisely correct. If a genie in a bottle were to offer a guy the chance to retroactively make his wife a virgin, there is not a man on earth who would not jump at the chance.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

I doubt having sex with a virgin is more "pleasurable" it's about the power you hold, the status you get, the "pureness" as in she won't have STD's, nothing more really.

Also it's so much easier to make a virgin believe you are the greatest gift in the sex department..... She won't have anyone to compare the guy to.

Makes you wonder why 75% of women say they regret losing their virginity the the guy they lost it too....

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (29 July 2010):

BrownWolf agony auntIf you are a virgin and you marry a guy who had lots of women before you, how long do you think it will take before he gets bored of just being with you? Except for your virginity, you have nothing new to offer in the bedroom. Same if the man was the virgin and the woman had several partner before him.

Most marriages are like that now, where both partner had sex before getting married. At first there is lots of sex. Then, once a week, once every two weeks, and so on. They get bored, because sex becomes routine. Soon they are looking for any form of excitment they can find. Porn, hook ups, etc.

If the both of you are virgins...everything is new, and exploring if fun for years to come.

Guys who just want to have sex with virgin just want to brag about being her first.

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (28 July 2010):

If you have any uncertainty about this, please search "retroactive jealousy" and watch how many posts come up. For evolutionary reasons, many men dont like the women that have invested emotions in to have slept with other men. That it is in the past does not make a difference. Obviously, if you are a virgin, the man you choose will never have to feel these emotions.

I have had many friends tell me they wished their wives were virgins when they met. I have never heard one of them say they wished their wives slept around more.

Do with that information what you wish....

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (28 July 2010):

The Realist agony auntPersonally I feel like I have the ability to make it special for the girl and she trusts me to do so. I take it as a great honour. There is also the fantasy of having an innocent girl looking to you to teach her. But then there are those guys who just like to brag about how many virgins they have slept with.

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A female reader, yummytum Ireland +, writes (28 July 2010):

hi, i think its more of an ego thing to be honest, they want to be the one who has it rather than someone else. the reason they prefer it, and not to be crude is the fact that a virgin will be "tighter" therefore more pleasureable for them.

shallow men!

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A female reader, sbxo United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2010):

sbxo agony auntMen like to have sex with women that haven't lost their virginity because they find it more pleasurable and special.

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