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Why do guys give mixed signals?

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Question - (4 May 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 May 2011)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi all.

Can you tell me why men give women mixed signals? For example, they show you a lot of attention and clearly like you one minute and then the next they ignore you? Just when you were so sure you had them hooked, they suddenly act like they are not interested anymore.

I just don't get it!! Are they deliberately playing games?

What should I do next? Should I just forget about a guy like this and move on?

View related questions: move on

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011):

Some guys do it. Others don't. If you keep getting involved with men who do it then you need to reexamine how you choose men.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (4 May 2011):

Odds agony auntNot all guys do that. And women do it to.

Some guys do it because they are trying to make a good impression. If they feel that they overplayed things one day, they may try to under-play it the next to make up for it. In these cases, it's not game-playing, just a guy trying to put his best foot foreward.

Some guys do it unconsciously. They're naturally flighty, or just plain ADD about things. This one is at least as big with chicks, though.

Some do it because their friends say so. A guy may show a lot of interest one night, but then his friend (one who is better with chicks in general) would tell him not to seem to eager, so he backs off. It's mostly women that do this one, but I've known a couple of guys who will.

A very few do it on purpose as game-playing behavior. They know women are more likely to fret and get worked up about a guy if they can't figure him out. If you do it right, it really hooks girls - it's easy to overplay and make it obvious, but some will still try.

Figure out which case is more likely and act accordingly. What that means depends on you - maybe you can accept a flakey guy, or maybe you can't accept one who has to try hard to look good. It's your call.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (4 May 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree it's not just MEN that play games... women do it too.

the issue becomes if he is doing it on purpose or just out of having mixed feelings.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (4 May 2011):

dirtball agony auntYeah, that sounds like game playing to me. Women do it too, and it's very frustrating.

What you should do depends on how much you like him. If you really like him, then talk to him and say you don't appreciate what he's doing, and if he's really interested he won't pull such bullshit. If you could take or leave him, then leaving wouldn't be a bad idea. After all, there are men out there who don't play such games.

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