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Why do guys cheat? Should I give in?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2009)
A female Ireland age 16-17, anonymous writes:

I've kind of browsed the site for a similar question and not quite found what i'm looking for.

Basically there's this guy, and I fancy him it's purely sexual. And he fancies me too I know he does because he's said so and he wants to meet up ect you get the picture. He has a girlfriend!? What's up with that??

Turns out he's a generally unfaithful guy (even though he's not slept with that many people) which in fairness doesn't bother me because i'd never want to be in a relationship with him, he's clearly a player but I'm still really confused.

Why on earth would a guy have a girlfriend, and cheat on her ALL THE TIME?? What's the point he might as well just not have a girlfriend? I don't understand!

Why on earth do guys cheat? Especially this one Because I know we get on really well but he's not exactly trying to get in my pants to find out more about my personality! And i'm not the most attractive of girls, so I don't understand why he wants to cheat??? It's confusing!

I mean i've pretty much decided that I want to do it, he's hot and I like him a lot and he wants me (this doesn't happen very often and I know i'll regret it if I turn him down)

BUT WHY!?

Please somebody enlighten me!

View related questions: has a girlfriend, player

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntGood girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh my god i've actually seen the light, this guy is an arse hole. And by cheating with him that would make myself and him very bad people, I should definately tell him NO.

it's gonna be hard because I like him, but maybe if he gets single I'll consider it.

BUT SERIOUSLY Jeees it's funny how you can genuinely be so blind until someone slaps you in the face about it.

I think it's because he's obviously acting as if he doesn't have a girlfriend so it kind of makes me forget that she's there and is a real person.

Thankyou so much people, honestly I didn't realise how freaking stupid I was being I guess it was hard to see because I was on the better end of the bargain.

Oh and p.s I didn't really mean why do MEN cheat I kind of just meant why do PEOPLE cheat, but because my situation referred to a man it just came out. Ohh I know bitches who cheat, anyone can be a cheater male or female!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou're the pot calling the kettle black my dear. If you carry through with your plans you place yourself in his catagory.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009):

EXCELLEN ANSWER male anon. sometimes women are worse than the cheating guys. just read all the sorry tales from THE other women who knowingly cheat with married men or men who are in committed relationships. no one forces these women. they indulged KNOWINGLY AND PURPOSEFULLY. they are not blind. they know exactly what they are doing YET turn around and blacken the cheating mans name. it takes two to tango and it takes two to create a mess.

all you have to say is NO. but we all take a chance, we think we won't get caught and we think we are better and that the male will leave their woves/partner for us. we know the score. we women know how to play the game.

we also know how to manipulate and how to connive. and we do this so convincingly.

regarding the op, YOU know what you want so please go ahead......it will be futile telling you otherwise

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009):

I'm so sick of all the posts on here from girls who are like "Why are all guys cheaters?" and "Why do guys cheat?" - As if girls never cheat and never do anything wrong. We all know girls aren't that innocent, and I promise plenty of girls cheat too but the guys don't complain as much and there's not a rush of people wanting to lynch her for it either. It's sexist, and makes it sound like all girls are very self-righteous (which they aren't all that way). I hate when people generalize like this, it's very unfair.

As for why do guys cheat, especially this one? Because girls like you don't really care enough to tell them no, so they can get away with it. You don't think it's the same for guys that don't stop a girl who is taken from sleeping with them? It's a two-way thing like it or not.

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (8 October 2009):

baddogbj agony auntWhy? Because that is the way that we are wired. We are programmed to want to have sex with as many potentially fertile females as we can, whereas women are generally programmed to try to find a mate and get him to stick around to help take care of the offspring. Fortunately society keeps this all under control and there are lot of good men that don't and won't cheat. A majority of men will cheat if given a sufficiently good opportunity - I have literally seen this happen before my eyes with respectable businessmen, friends who I know to be devoted husbands and fathers etc. when they visit Asia.

Although I'm coming at this from a different perspective from the earlier posters my advice to you would also be not to get involved with this guy unless you are really confident that you are mentally tough enough. Women tend to have problems keeping it purely about the sex and tend to begin to bond emotionally with men that they have sex with. This doesn't sound like a guy that you should have an emotional bond with at your age.

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A female reader, rhythmandblues2 United States + , writes (8 October 2009):

rhythmandblues2 agony auntWhy are you so concerned with him cheating on his girlfriend when you are the one that is helping him cheat?

Why don't you wonder about that, why as a woman you have so little respect for other women as to sleep with their guy? He wouldn't be cheating if there weren't so many skanks after sex with any man that gives em a go.

Why don't you ruminate on that for awhile because that is how he is looking at you, his girlfriend he has romantic feelings for and he is a pig.

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A female reader, d e e p w i t h i n Canada +, writes (8 October 2009):

d e e p w i t h i n agony auntI'm not sure of the exact reason why guys cheat but I know that a lot of the time guys don't think with their mind...if you know what I mean.

my advice would be not to get involved with this guy. yes right now it is only a physical attraction but if you go through with anything it may turn into more, and that cant be good for you because he for one thing has a girlfriend, but another thing is that he is a cheater. you deserve a faithful guy who loves you and only you.

find someone better, you wont regret it. you will probably regret sleeping with a cheater.

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