A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Everywhere I go, guys always stare at me, or beep their car horns, or try and chat me up and wolf whistle at me.I can't even walk my dog or go get a pint of milk from the corner shop without getting oggled.I dress appropriately, for example at my college we have to wear a shirt and suit and on the way there I wear a big black coat over my suit and heels, so it's not like I've got my boobs hanging out!I don't know why they stare, and I certainly don't draw attention to myself, I'll just be walking along, but it makes me really self conscious of my appearance and I feel like there's something wrong with me and like I'm always being judged.I just feel like I can't go anywhere without being eyed up, why do they stare at me?!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): I originally asked the question...Thankyou everyone for your replies.In response to the select few people who made remarks about me being big headed and conceited... you're wrong.The reason I asked this question is because it actually does bother me and makes me feel very self conscious and nervous when I'm out and about, particularly when I get men pulling up in cars and asking me to get in, and I wanted to know what possesses men to behave in such a way, and on reading people's replies now I know.To the agony aunts who made stupid comments, you're meant to help people who come to this site and constructively answer their questions, not call them a bunch of names which are wholly unecessary.
A
female
reader, Just Diana  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Oh come on! You are just conceited and need more approval through this medium. You do as one male reader pointed out already know the answer. Me thinketh you just need and want it reafirmed. However, although you may know the answer does not mean you are a secure woman. Conceited and insecure?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010):
It sounds asthough you are self conscious. Understand that most young women get this sort of attention. Young women are not aware of their beauty and cannot understand the fascination.Try to ignore them and pay attention to what you are doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): uhhmm... it means your prettyyy/hott??? and they have to stare... dearrr its men=D they do it all the time, just ignore them if you dont like it.
They can watch but they cant touch=D LOL ! dont worry be happy=D
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): I'm a guy and that happens to me too so I know how you feel. Some women can be pretty aggressive too. Especially the older 30 to 40 yr olds. I've had women rub up against me at stores and stare me down from their cars while on the road driving. Makes me think something is wrong with me when they stare. I try to just ignore them cause it kinda makes me feel uncomfortable. Just ignore them and look the other way. There is nothing wrong with you....there is something wrong with them
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): I am a red blooded man and I have never done that in my whole life. Some guys just have no respect for women.
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A
female
reader, Aliceinunderland +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Sorry, no offense, but reading this makes me think you already know the answer to your question, it makes you sound quite big headed... :/
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): Its probably because you are very pretty and guys are pigs. I never used to get wolf whistles or any thing, but I definitly used to get eyed up. Even when I'm driving!!! I remember in early Feb right after I had my son in late jan, I walked into jack in the box with my baby and my boyfriend and all the guys STILL looked up from eating to stare!!! They eyed up me and down and one made a sexual gesture. It was awful! And its not like I was dressed to get compliments. I mean my hair was messy, I was wearing a large black sweater and was in jeans ands sneakers!! Guys are jsut pigs. The next time they do that try and say something rude and snide to them, may they will shut up.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Judged? You think you are being judged? I think you are being drooled over, which is quite different. Sexy isn't in clothes or style. It's in attitude, the way you walk, the expression on your face. You're just hot and it's time you embrace it. You will look hot no matter what you dress in, and you know what? Only really naturally hotties like you and me can pull that off ;)
If it bothers you ignore them. I like to laugh as long as things stay harmless.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (21 April 2010):
 I know how you feel - when this happens to me I always think I have something on my face or feel really paranoid that I look really stupid!
But funnily enough recently I found out I look like some random minor celebrity (Michelle Ryan from Bionic Woman/East Enders) which has helped me a bit to come to terms with men staring at me! I always say to myself "oh they must be trying to figure out who I look like!".
Basically there is nothing wrong with you, you are just an attractive young woman despite what clothes you are wearing! Men are attracted to you and some men cant help but stare or make innapropriate wolf whistles. In time you will learn to ignore it and you wont notice it so much! Some men are a bit leery and think it is fine to behave like this, and there is nothing we can do to change them! The best way to deal with it is to ignore it and dont give them a reaction, that way they wont pursue you further.
Just feel happy that so many men find you attractive, I bet many girls would love to be in your position!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 That used to happen to me all the time. Now, not so much. :(
You can develop an ice queen persona if you choose to, that might help in deflecting unwanted attention.
The last time I had that kind of ogling and attention, turns out I had tucked the back of my skirt into the back of my pantyhose, so my backside was on display, as I walked confidently through the crowded restaurant back to the business customers I was trying to impress. Sat down. Realized there was a problem with my clothing, a wardrobe malfunction of the most embarassing kind.
I looked up, looked around, and saw virtually EVERYONE in the restaurant staring at me. What can you do? I smiled, gave a little wave and laughed it off.
I recommend growing a little mental body armor and learning to ignore what needs to be ignored.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 I wish I would have your problems, lol !
If you are sure you do not dress provocatively- then just relax, enjoy the attention, and take it as a compliment to your beauty and femininity.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 April 2010):
Chances are you are very attractive.
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A
female
reader, Katy. +, writes (21 April 2010):
 You're asking a question here which I think you already know the answer to. If you say it's everywhere you go then it's obviously because you're attractive or boys/men in general find you attractive. So what? I get it and I'm sure every girl who is good looking had had it too. There's nothing you can do about it if you say you don't dress like you're asking for it so just learn to deal with it and enjoy. Just don't become bigheaded (:
Katy x
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Most likely because you are beautiful and attractive. I can see how this would be bothersome to you and that you don't like them doing it, but I wouldn't feel like there is something wrong with you.
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