A
female
age
51-59,
*Tpie
writes: met a guy in January. He approached me. We hit it off. In the beginning of our courtship, I was a little cautious simply because I didn't want my feeling hurt by this guy. I expressed my concern to him and we had at least 3 good conversations about his (and mine) intentions. He would simply say "not everyone is out to get you. I just want to be with you." Ok. So I let my guard down and we officially began dating.....great. We spent time together. I met a majority of his family. I was even invited on a fishing trip (another plus as I come from a huge "fishing" family). We would hang out, watch movies, he'd come over to my house and play handyman (fixing doors, sinks, lights, mowing,...you name it, he did it). He'd pick me up and take me to work with him when he was "on-call". We sat on my couch one night and talked very deeply for hours about the recent and sudden loss of his dad and I shared information with him about the loss of my mom. We called and texted eachother frequently. The time we spent together was great! Honestly. And I was really starting to like him. So cut to a recent Sunday morning. He called me at 9am and asked if I wanted to go have breakfast. Great. He told me he was getting dressed and we'd go eat. So when he got to my house, we ended up going to the store and making breakfast together. Lots of laughing, talking..everthing was great. He left around 1 in the afternoon and later that evening, as I was having dinner with my sister, he called to thank me for breakfast and said that he had a really good time. I thanked him too and we chatted for a minute about getting together during the week to go try out this new Pho place. He mentioned that he was excited to try it and that he was not on call so the week would be open. Before we hung up, he told me that he was over his sister's house and that he was telling his family about me. They wanted to meet me. So, now. Monday morning we sent our normal "good morning texts". He called me later that night and we talked on the phone like normal. Before I went to bed, he sent me a text message that said "Miss you baby". I responded and told him to have a good night. Tuesday morning, same thing. Good morning texts and a few cute texts throughout the day. Tuesday night, I tried to call him, but didn't get an answer. He didn't call me back. I did not hear from him on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, despite my worried messages (not stalker girl) and texts for him to call me. I began to worry that something happened to him. I was up all night, and not eating. Worried sick. I sent him a text on Saturday morning asking him to please let me know if he was ok and that I was worried. About 5 or 6 hours later, he sent me this text: Im ok. Pls dont text or call anymore.OMG.
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female
reader, QTpie +, writes (4 April 2011):
QTpie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate.He emailed me Firday morning. The email was short and didn't say much; a hello and hope you're ok. My guess is he is trying to test the waters. I'm angry but want to wait to see if he sends another email.I did not respond to the email.
A
female
reader, QTpie +, writes (28 March 2011):
QTpie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, all of you. It's very strange behavior that doesn't match his actions and words. I appreciate hearing your thoughts, especially from another man's perspective. I will say that everyone that I told about this has said about the same thing. It's just odd.I'm deeply hurt. I will let some time pass and the "dust settle". Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 This sounds very strange as he was treating you so well and it came out of the blue. Obviously something changed for him and he needs to have the guts to tell you what that was. He is being a coward. I am sorry that you have had to get hurt in the process. My only advice to you now would be to do as he says and dont text or call him. Spend some time with friends and through time you will get over him. I know it must be hard not knowing why he finished it, but my guess is that he is never going to tell you am afraid.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): What a jerk.
Delete all his contact details, block him from everything.
He doesn't deserve another thought.
Dignity always, I know it hurts like hell, but what a coward.
You can and will do better x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): I'm sorry. Well fortunate for you you did not have too much time invested in him. January to March is two months. Not much time at all. Furthermore in most relationships, the first couple of months are the make it or break it period. It is very common for people to date a month or two and that's it. A lot of people don't see it coming because the other person is dishonest when getting involved. They lie about their intentions and one person always ends up hurt. It happens a lot more than you think.Obviously this guy wasn't being totally honest with you. Had he by chance mentioned an ex girlfriend or ex wife? Chances are there was somebody else who had recently been in the picture, he was probably on the rebound when he met you, and this former flame probably popped back into his life around when he stopped calling you. That is probably very likely. Anyways be strong! Forget him he sucks.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): OMG indeed. Well, I think at the very least this guy owes you an explanation. Cut all that 'he's just not that into you' crap that people say in these situations. He was very obviously into you and wanted to cultivate some kind of relationship with you. This all sounds very odd. My instinct is to think that something mustve happened. Is this guy married/attached and you just didn't know it and maybe his wife/GF found the text messages? That could be an explanation but it does seem awful strange that he would blow so cold so suddenly like that. I would want to know what the hell had made him suddenly react like that. Jesus, I hate text messages. In a phone call you get intonation and expression so that you can guage someone's emotions a little more acurately. Both these things are missing from texting. My instinct is to say whatever you do DO NOT call or text him, but I know I would be dying to in your situation. If you decide you have to know, or at least try to get to the bottom of this weird behaviour, I would give it a day or so, if you can bear it, and then call him. Ask him politely what happened? Explain that you don't understand his about turn and that it upset you to get such a surprising message from him, all considered. If he won't take your call, then I would send him one more text asking the same thing. If he;s half decent he'll respond. If he doesn't then there's nothing you can do. It might freak you out/make you angry, hurt, frustrated, but take it from someone who knows, sometimes you never get the answers you want from people no matter how much you push. Maybe something major happened, mabe not. Maybe he just woke up and decided he didn;t want to know anymore, maybe the guy's married/a player/messing with your head and got found out by the wife...the only way you'll know is if he decides to tell you. His behaviour has been shabby though, whether he feels he has good reason or not. Still, i feel if he was decent he would at least try to explain.If he comes up with something good, and it would have to be damn good, then I would say forget it if you can. Don;t brood on it. It might hurt for a bit but better now than further down the line. The guy sounds a bit screwed up. You sound much more level headed. Don't let someone mess you around. Life's too short and you're worth more. Good luck! Let me know what happens.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): Just take a minute and step back. Do you even know for sure it was him who texted you back? Maybe someone else is in the picture you don't know about? Hard to say why this happened, but give it a few days and then touch base and see what is going on. Did he leave anything at your place, maybe drop it by?
He owes you more than, "don't call". But, you never know what is going on in his head. It could be another woman? Good luck. Sometimes you have to wonder if people really get how much they can hurt other people?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): I wouldnt worry to much about that. He said it out of pure emotion it sounds. Wait til the dust settles of whatever he just went thru and im sure you guys will speak. He doesnt sound like the type to do it over a text anyway and any man that does should get their balls mangled by a bloodthirsty hyena lol. best on this. I feel things are okay :)
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