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Why didn't he tell me that my friend confessed her love to him?

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 June 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

hi,

I just found out today from a friend of mine that another close friend of mine confessed her love to my boyfriend.

This happened apparently 5 days ago, and he hasnt said anything to me about it and continues to talk to her.

Why wouldnt he tell me about this? I heard he told her off for that but he should have told me.

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A female reader, SugarCookie United States +, writes (21 June 2008):

My bet is that he is trying to help he realize that they are not ment to be. He probably doesn't know how to tell you. Why dont you go up to him tell him that you heard about it, that you are glad he turned her down, that you are not mad and tell him that it is ok to come to you in tough situations. Ask him what all happened and let him know that he can always come to you. What ever you do do not get mad at him for not saying something if you do then he will be to afraid to come to you at all and wont tell you anything. Hope that helps. Just remember he turned her down so there is really nothing to be mad about!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (21 June 2008):

q1605 agony aunt He probably has no clue what to do about it. If he didn't invite her to jump off s, give him some time to figure this out. You always hear guys bitching because they are damned if they do and damned if they don't. This is about as intense as you will see it with out full on cheating. If he looks composed and non-plussed he ain't that way on the inside.

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A female reader, Shan x3 United States +, writes (21 June 2008):

Shan x3 agony aunti don't agree with the last person. i think he should have told you. he probably didn't tell you because he didn't want to start drama between you and your friend. he probably still talks to her because he just brushed it off and stopped worrying about it because he wants to be with you. i wouldn't worry too much about it :)

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A male reader, evas United States +, writes (21 June 2008):

Don't play around, Just ask him and get it out in the open. Heck, ask her too while your at it. If you play the "he said she said" game you'll never get the truth. Then again, they could both lie to your face. You just have to use some wisdom and judge for yourself. If he didn't say anything, he's not pushed her away,and / or they seem to get closer then he must like the attention and thus makes himself look like a "Player".

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A female reader, XxAnGelXxx United Kingdom +, writes (21 June 2008):

I can see why your upset at this and i dont blame you most people would be, but on the other hand i can see where he's coming from, not telling you. I know for a fact that most men i know would do the same, just down to the fact that saying something like that to you could completely screw up your relationship, like if you started jumping to conclusions about it all, if you get what i mean? So just maybe he thought he'd deal with it, like you said he gave her a telling off for it? So i really do think that he just thought that he'd deal with it, not involve you, just incase you did jump to conclusions n started thinking somethin went on n he twisted the story n that? Hope that helps a little bit.

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A female reader, DiovanLestat United Kingdom + , writes (21 June 2008):

DiovanLestat agony auntWhy should he tell you, did she fall in love with you too. Somebody likes him, so what. He dosen't like her, he's done nothing wrong. If he told you, you would be upset, he hasn't told you and still your upset. Somebody likes him, that's good, he's probably a very attractive person and you have choosen well.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008):

This is an awkward situation to be in. The chances are he hasn't said anything to you because he won't want to ruin your friendship with this friend. He also may be worried that it will cause problems between you in your relationship. Maybe if you tell him that you know then you can talk about it and sort things out, then he'll be able to explain what happened and the reason he didn't tell you.

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