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Why did this guy flirt with me when it turns out now that he had no honorable intentions towards me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ngelblue610 writes:

This is a little complicated, so please bare with me. I have gotten myself into the same situation twice with the same family. I moved in to my new place in July 2015, I met my next door neighbour, an elderly lady. She helped me out, I helped her out, I went round for tea. I became part of the family. She has two sons. One I have met and became friends with immediately. Though no other interest, that I was aware of at the time. Then a few months later I meet the other son... On the day I meet him he tells me he wants a mistress, he is married. I felt awkward, anyway I listened to him, laughed at his jokes. We text... Then a couple of weeks later we mutually stop it all for the sake of his kids. Then two weeks later he is buying me wine, and telling me he loves me. Calls and texts me everyday over Xmas. I was so confused. Nothing happened. Then new year he cut me off like I meant nothing. The brother got angry, calling him a jerk and all. Then a few weeks later, we are texting, flirting and he starts touching me. He is clever, when his mum is out the room I'm being groped. Then I ask one question 'what is going on?' He responds with we are just friends. Now he too has blocked me out, and I'm banned from going round for tea at their mum's. What did I do? Why did they flirt if there was no intention?

Apparently I'm not pretty, tall, slim or blonde enough to be their type.

Also due to me not having kids I have no responsibility. I have a roof over my head, I pay bills and I sort my stuff out...

What's not responsible about that?

They are making out that all this is in my mind.

I love him and thought he was different to his brother. I'm lost, please help.

View related questions: flirt, mistress, moved in, neighbour, text

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A female reader, angelblue610 United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2016):

angelblue610 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Jannipeg, you've misunderstood. It was the first brother who wanted the mistress not the second who I am confused about. And totally agree though if I was on about that one.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (2 May 2016):

janniepeg agony auntThe moment he said he wanted a mistress is the moment you should cut him off, and realize whatever he said or did had no honorable intentions.

He wanted to know how much he could get away with, so he would say whatever to get into your pants. He does not care about how you look, or your other qualities as he's not looking for a mate. Just some drama free, fuss-less, no strings affair. you are not invited to tea parties not because you did something wrong, not good enough, or are unworthy of his attention. But because he worries you are going to bust him. Then his whole family would hate him. Still, family is blood, they would come around even if the secret came out. It's the mistress that loses everything, her connections and her reputation. He does not care about that, only his selfish needs.

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A female reader, angelblue610 United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2016):

angelblue610 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Just for clarification. I'm 32, these guys are early 50s. I have never had an age concern issue. Though these guys havevacted immaturely. The hardest part is living next door to their mother and not being able to even say hello. I've been dismissed as though I have no existence. I have to put up with them passing my kitchen window ignoring the fact of what they did to me.

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