A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a woman on a dating site for serious relationships, which I am seeking. After some brief emails and a phone chat we made a dinner date. We met at a nice resturant and spent a nice hour talking about ourselves, nothing sexual. When we left, I asked her for another date, she's quite cute and friendly. She happily agreed. I walked her to her car I told her I would call her and leaned over and gave her a short kiss on her lips. She went crazy kissing me,tounging me and all.I kissed her back,it was really enjoyable until she reached into my crotch and started rubbing my penis through my pants asking me for sex. I'm no prude by any means and I haven't had sex in 7 months. I just didn't think it was a good idea to have sex on a first date with someone you met for the first time. I told her I didn't want to have sex on our first date, now she wants to have sex on our second date. Even though our date went well and I have attraction to her I can't stop thinking about her asking me for sex like that. Do I want it? Yes I do but I don't know if she's an easy lay for all the guys she meets or was she just a horny woman with a heartfelt attraction for me. I'm debating if I should see her again, I don't want a horny whore for a girlfriend, who else is she going to fall that easy for behind my back. I don't want to have sex with her then wind up being in a relationship I may not want. In my past I've found myself on both sides of hurting someone and being hurt too by being dumped, so I don't want that to happen due to having sex too fast. What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2013): It could be several reasons. First of all, she might not had sex for a long time. Second, she might be very sexual and horny, and yes, she does sleep with men fast.
It doesn't mean though she will be cheating. She might be going straight to sex n a first date, but then she will be a good life time partner.
When I met my husband, I didn't have sex for almost 2 years, due to injury, and then surgery. All I was thinking about was sex, ALL THE TIME.
When he kissed me on a first date, I kind of lost it. And we did it not even reaching bed. Later he told he deffinitely didn't expect me going for it n a first date. But at that point I didn't care how easy I would look to him, all I wanted that night is sex. Then in a morning, when he left, I couldn't even understand if I liked him, or I just wanted to do it.
Now few years later when we already married, we still joke about it.
Also I really didn't like how you frase yourself describing a woman.
I think you are very close minded person, and I think this woman is better of without you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013): I would advise you to stay away from her.Not because she is a bad person or a whore or immoral or unstable.But because your values are incompatible. You are already judging her and calling her names for her liberal lifestyle after the first date. You are only going to be more horrified and disappointed when you get to know each other and you find out that she has lived a life somewhat different from what you would prefer.For what it's worth, we had sex with my partner on the first date and 4 years later we are happily committed and still going strong. I didn't judge him for wanting to have sex with me on the first date nor did he judge me. We are both liberal and believe we have the right to self-determination regardless of gender. Consenting sex that does not deceive anyone is perfectly acceptable. If you think there must be something wrong with her for wanting to sleep with you then she is simply not the one for you.Or you could talk to her as the others have suggested... But I forsee you falling out in the future because you already see her as a 'whore'.In any case, would you consider yourself a whore as well if you did end up sleeping with her after 10 dates.... breaking up, sleeping with someone else after 15 dates... breaking up sleeping with someone else after 25 dates...Do you see what I mean?Without getting to know her, her wanting to have sex with you is neither good nor bad per se. It's a question of is that what you want too? If not, negotiate or walk away. But don't keep dating her if you consider her morally inferior.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 November 2013):
 My guess, she have always tried or successfully used sex as a way of "bonding". Could be she thinks if she has sex with you asap you will want to keep her around. Could that is how other guys have treated her.
I would be PERFECTLY honest and tell her you are not looking for sex on the first,second, third or even fourth date, because yo are looking to get to know her, not just in a physical way.
Aside for her "throwing herself" at you, do YOU want to know her better? Or was that action a little to desperate or off-putting to you?
To be perfectly honest, I would keep looking. I think that one is a little to desperate to "date".
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013): Frankly in my younger years I wasn't that particular about the type of girls I dated as long as they accepted to date me, and I did date some wild ones but never as wild as this one.Considering from the age group given it seems that this female is quite mature and really knows what she wants.If you are looking for a serious relatinship, you should steer clear from this one because she could be doing the same with other guys too.But again I see no harm in getting to know her better and see what this is all about.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 November 2013):
 this is a very normal and frequent question women come on this site and ask about men regularly. the question is the same "i met this guy/girl, but (s)he is pushing for sex too soon. should i back off?" the only difference is that the gender/sex is different.
i will give you the same advice i would give a woman who asked this question. set clear boundaries and limits. let her know you're very attracted to her but would like to wait until you have established a solid foundation and potential relationship before sex is infused into the mix. if she likes you and is interested, she will back off and understand.
pushing for sex is not necessarily a male trait. it goes both ways. we don't harshly criticize men who want sex sooner than the women. we chalk that up to simply being "men." same principle applies here. good luck.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (2 November 2013):
I think at our age we know what we want. We are not afraid of expressing ourselves. In say that, I think this girl has some issues. I think you are looking for a relationship.
You sound like a nice guy. Go again with her and tell her the truth. Don't call her a whore or anything. Tell her you are interested and want to take this slow. You want to invest in her and what this could possibly be. I know I would love to her a guy tell me that he really likes me and that he wants to invest his time into me.
If she doesn't get it. Let her go!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (1 November 2013):
 I don't get that horny on a first date. It's a time to get to know a person. I believe in rare occasions people can get horny but at the same time both men and women know well enough to hide it. The dating world is full of people who had just got out of a relationship, going through a break, doing revenge cheatings or rebound relationships. I would say emotional instability and desperation drive a person to do impulsive things, even if it means ignoring social etiquette. Or maybe she has a sexual addiction due to past abuse. Yes she could find a partner in the intimate encounter section. It's just that people in the relationship section are nicer. In dating sites people also find whatever comes first, and they don't have to respect boundaries because they don't believe there's any.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013): Just because she was attracted to you enough to want to bed you does NOT mean she cannot be a faithful companion. Perhaps feeling a physical attraction and having sexual fulfillment are high on her list of needs as a woman. That doesn't make a woman a "horny whore." It makes her a woman who knows what she wants. If you give her a chance and explain to her that you'd rather take things more slowly in the sexual arena, you'll probably find that you have come across a rare one in her. My only caution is that you have to be careful with how you treat her because she's going to have a hard time trusting you and your affection... if you actually share affection with anyone.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 November 2013):
If you're looking for a relationship I'd steer clear. As much as we'd all like to believe it was our irresistible charm that lead to this, it's less likely than her just being horny and "easy" (I don't like that word but don't know what else to say).
If you just want sex then make that clear and go for it.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (1 November 2013):
 I think this girl may have some issues which she needs to deal with before she gets into a relationship. As you are dating and not her therapist I would recommend backing off from this one!
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