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Why did my husband marry me, (I'm slim), if he prefers more curvy woman when he watches porn?

Tagged as: Health, Pornography, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 28 July 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am a slim enough (not too slim but not curvy chubby), my husbands porn preference is ALWAYS BBW or chubby women.

Why?? I know it's his preference because we've talked about his sexual attraction to BBW women! And we sometimes watch porn together.

He says, he likes the youthful chubby look but not the 'older' chubby look.

He's also a personal trainer, if that sheds light. I have no judgement on his preference for larger women... but why are all his EX's and me slim then?? He knows the health implications, it seems to just be a sexual thing for him.

View related questions: his ex, porn

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A male reader, Riot2017 Mexico +, writes (28 July 2017):

He married you because you are marriage material, and he probably is in love with the other qualities you have beyond your physical appearance.

He likes watching chubby girls on porn because that's his fetish, the same as the guys who love seeing tentacle porn, or foot porn, or S&B, or snuff, or gore. A fetish is a fetish, but a love partner / wife is a whole different story.

You don't need to panic or worry about that. Really, if you feel your husband loves you, and he really means it and walks the walk, you don't need to worry at all.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2017):

You are a trophy wife. Enjoy the free ride, and quit complaining.

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A female reader, Zazzafrazza United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2017):

I see it like this...

Ive never had an Adonis man. Ive watched porn. I'ma asingle girl. Most of the porn Ive watched is with buff men and curvy women (huge boobs at least) or really slim girls.

I prefer watching fit looking men, but I've never had one for real. That has never stopped me enjoying sex with the man I've been with who doesn't look like a porn dude.

My point being, he Loves you and has chosen to be with you and you are powerful enough to let him know who's sexier... I'm a curvy woman, but I'm not a woman who has sex for money, nor are you. These women he's so interested in are curvy, but lets face it, they're having sex for money and show. Take control of your husbands philandering eye, he's a married man to a woman who has a slim body and who has Love and concern for her philandering husbands eye, he's chosen you to be his life partner. You and he need to get that into perspective!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2017):

This really annoys me how everyone just expects women to not worry about it when men show us through their porn selection that we are not their type . How would they feel if we had to have male friends fulfill our emotional needs because we wanted to marry a man who was one way ( say stable financially and always working hard ) yet we got our emotional needs met during the day with some young poet ( no touching of course - just like porn!) and before anyone pipes up and says porn women are not real. YES they are !!! They are real life flesh and blood women.

It's about time men started marrying women who fit what they are attracted to and stop filling shopping lists , like oh this woman will make a good A good wife and mother to show off but these women in porn will be the ones I am attracted to and get off to . Why so t they start thinking about how they makes a woman feel or at least tell her before marrying that's how it will be and give her that honest choice so she can decide if she wants that or if she wants a man who is attracted to HER type !!!!

If a woman is happy to marry a man who happily chooses her opposite when given the entire internet then that's fine but some of us do not

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is turned on by larger women, but he loves you, and I bet you satisfy him as well. My guess is it is his guilty pleasure. If you didn't satisfy him then am sure he would never have married you. Talk to him about your fears and allow him to make you feel better. Talk to him about your concerns he can make you feel at ease.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2017):

I agree with the previous poster - don't worry about it. I know it's easy to get curious (and suspicious even). But like the previous poster said, fantasy is different than reality. People fantasize about all kinds of things that they would never ever want in reality. That's the fun of it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2017):

My first husband married me even though I found out he preferred plumper women (I'm slim). When we were breaking up I asked him why he married someone who was slim instead of a plump woman, as there are plenty of those fish in the sea. His answer was he wanted to be seen with a slim woman because he perceived that slim was more attractive to men, his friends and others.

Most women do want to feel that their partners' prefer and are sexually attracted to their look. I know that I, and most of my friends, feel the same way. If you don't care, and I think you do or you wouldn't be asking this question, then let it go.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (29 May 2017):

chigirl agony auntOh my, why does anyone get turned on by anything... It's just how we work. Stop trying to read so much into it. It's just what it is, he prefers a relationship with a healthy woman, but gets turned on in porn by chubby women.

Fantasy is not the same as reality. You should be aware of this. I don't think women like you masturbate themselves, because you clearly do not understand the difference between fantasy and reality. So my advice to you is to start masturbating. No, not watching porn with him, masturbate ON YOUR OWN. Be more concerned about what turns YOU on when YOU masturbate, and less concerned about what your husband watches when he masturbates.

If you honestly tell me that you masturbate on a weekly basis and only think of your husband, then wow. You're a rare one. Because for most of us, what works in reality is not the same as what we need to picture in our minds/watch in porn in order to get off.

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