A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Ive got a bit of a worry on my hands. Ive now been with my boyfriend for 9 months, after the first few months, or during i should say, he was very on/off with me and he hurt me a lot as he never really made any time for me during the week, but would sleep with me when we met up, he'd met my parents by then, and i thought we were on our way to being in a serious relationship. Due to facebook, i found a few things suspicious from a girl called sarah, only super pokes ones that said "Sarah has hooked up with Paul" etc which seems stupid but it all came together in the end. Anyway.. one night he stayed over again and i stupidly checked his phone as i was sure there was something going on. I found messages from this sarah girl saying "Im guessing your not interested in me anymore.." and "How come you took me for that drink the other night and now you've gone cold on me" At this point we had been dating for 2-3months and sleeping with eachother. I got checked for sti's after the first few times id slept with him and it came back clear... After confronting him in the middle of the night about this Sarah, and he went mad about me going through his phone, i was so angry in the morning i let him go to work without me saying a word for three-four days after that. He text me a few messages trying to get me to talk to him but i didnt, and ended up having a car crash due to my anger and upset. He then managed to talk me round, and i decided to date a bit, behind his back, but it was all very innocent and id never suggest a relationship with these guys (It just helped me to get over the whole sarah thing) As this helped me to appear distant towards my boyfriend, he started to come round a lot more, and text/ring a lot more. towards xmas, we became alot closer and i was quite happy with our situation. He hadnt changed his status on facebook and kept making up excuses but i forgot about that and sarah finally deleted him (so im guessing she had enough of being ignored).In jan i went and got tested again for sti's. This time it came back positive for Claymidia. (not sure how thats spelt.) I was on aq train and away with the girls for the weekend so as you can guess i cried my eyes out in the toilet and recieved comfort from friends whilst i was away. I told my boyfriend when i arrived at our destination and he then became very "I miss you.. i cant wait to see you" etc. This made me feel better as i was having a great time and my boyfriend felt bad!.. he said "Didnt you get checked up before though?!" and i said "yeah so that means you've either cheated on me or its been in your system all along and its taken a few months to get into mine" (as this is what the doctor said can happen and when i last got checked id only slept with him once or twice without a condom).After that weekend, we couldnt have been better, he started telling me he loved me alot more, he was staying at mine nearly every night and still is and he's always asking me questions so that he can reassure himself that i love him. such as "Do you like seeing me this much babe, because ive been round the last couple of nights and you dont seem happy today"We've had no problems whatso ever since then up intil now.. I hadnt checked his phone since the first time last november and believe me, ive had so many chances, but yesterday, i felt a need to, just curious i guess. I found in his saved folder naked photos of this sarah and a few others of another girl. In anger today when i had a chance i deleted them, knowing that if he ever went to look, he couldnt ask me where they had gone. Most of them had a lock on meaning that he wanted to keep them. Should i be worried by this or is it a guy thing to keep old messages from past relationships??He changed his status yesterday and put me in his top friends on facebook finally.. because id asked him so many times but this time he was happy to. That made me feel a lot better but i feel a bit sick thinking about the photos. Can anyone please give me some advice?
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cheated on me, condom, facebook, text Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): I think you should have confronted him... Have you done that yet? You've really got to. Deleting them is one thing, but you can't let him just get away. Ask him your questions because honey, you deserve answers. You really do. We can't tell you why he had those photos, but he certainly can. So get some answers okay honey! Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour right, if i hadn't have snooped i may not have ever become worried and wouldnt have gone for a check up! i feel a bit bad for deleting them because i hate snooping, id rather not see anything and believe theres nothing there then see messages i dont want to. It is a guy thing though right? They keep naked pics from girls in the past.. im pretty sure i can dig out a half naked bloke photo i once recieved! Im just not stupid enough to keep it on my phone!!
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A
female
reader, cd206  + ♥, writes (21 April 2008):
 I guess that the problem is deleting the pics means he doesn't have them anymore but now they're etched onto your memory.
What is comes down to is something very simple. Do you trust this guy to be faithful to you from now on? It's an important decision to make because if your chlamydia hadn't been caught in time you could be infertile by now and since it's often a symptomless condition, if you hadn't snooped into your boyfriend's personal life to start with then you might never have found out. If you trust him from now on make sure this is his last chance. If you don't trust him then forget it right now. You can do much better than this guy!
CD
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