A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:To start off I became really close with a female friend of mine and yes I really liked her but she had a boyfriends so I never told her how I felt because I didn't want to mess her relationship up with him even though he was horrible to her. She would break up with him almost on a weekly basis and get back together with him.Of course I was always there for her. Her boyfriend hated me because her and I did everything together and were always hanging out. In 2004 I joined the NAVY but I wasn't scheduled to leave for boot camp til 8 months later. When I signed up I told her and she was like no I don't want you to leave. Fast forward its like 3 weeks before I'm scheduled to leave for boot camp and somehow she convinces me to pick flowers with her. This is when I knew I was beginning to fall for her. I was hoping she would tell me how she felt the same way cause I would have gotten out of my NAVY contract.Now it's the night before I leave for boot camp and I'm in the hotel they put me in. I talk to her on the phone for like an hour and she told me she had to be up early so we hung up. Then like 30 minutes later she calls me back and has her dad talk to me and try and convince me not to go to the NAVY. He talked to me for about an hour telling me not to go and saying how he can help me get a job and all kinds of stuff. Of course by this time it is to late for me to get out of my contract. Had she have done this a few weeks earlier I would have been able to.While I was in boot camp I wrote her every week when we were able to write letters. Whenever I got a phone call I called my mom and I called her. Then I go to A-school which is where I learn my job in the NAVY. I called her about twice a week. After A-school I came home and the next day I went and saw her and I didn't know how to tell her how I felt. Well the last day I was there my best friend convinced me to tell her so I went to where she worked and she wasn't there. I tried to call but she wasn't picking up her phone. Fast forward a few weeks and I'm at my stationed in Washington state and I finally get my phone. I called her and we talked for a little while. I told her look this if the first time I have been away from my family and I asked her to call me on Thanksgiving. She promised she would call me. That was the last I have ever heard from her and that was 5 years ago. Recently I have tried to add her on facebook but I get denied. Just yesterday I sent her a long email basically saying all the good times we had together and just telling her I want my friend back. Ladies hopefully you can give me some insight on what you think. Thanks.
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best friend, facebook, flowers, get back together, navy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Whoa I am sorry that all that happened! Its quite a confusing situation and must have been hard on top of all the stress and responsibility of joining the Navy.
One guess could be she realised that deep down she really liked you/loved you and it took you leaving to for her to realise what she lost. She left it too late to try to keep you and then rather than hurt herself any more she tried to forget you and move on.
5 years is a very long time to have no contact so maybe she has managed to move on and find a partner and by declining your request on facebook she is protecting herself from bringing up old feelings for you.
Its nice that you asked for your friend back though, rather than suggest anything else as it is a gentle way to approach her and remind her of the good times.
I think so far you've done everything you can and in the right way. Perhaps get in touch with some of her other friends to try and find out about her or if they can provide answers as to why she has choosen to cut you off.
At the moment thats all I can think of- I hope you can take some of what I have said. If anything progresses with her let us know-people are happy to help you through all this!
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Have you contacted her family? I do not know what may have transpired after that call but, from what I have read it sounds as though you were left clueless and if I were you I would have been worried because she does sound like a good friend. Contact family members perhaps asking what happened to her or whether she is alright. She could not have simply forgotten about you.
I hope that helps.
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