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female
,
anonymous
writes: I went out the other night and got drunk. On the way home, I asked the taxi driver if he wanted to go somewhere and made it clear I wanted sex. I don't know why I did this, I wasn't attracted to the man and after I asked him and he then said yes, I was horrified but told myself it was too late now to go back on it.We parked somewhere (I even gave him directions) and I went into the back seat. He was really nervous and wasn't entirely comfortable doing it but I encouraged him. I still don't know why I did this. (Thank God) The taxi man was impotent but I still encouraged him to touch me, again, I dont know why I did this, it has really disturbed me. The guy wanted to see me again, (start a relationship?!!) but I left the car and walked home. When I got home I showered and scrubbed myself because I felt so disgusted.I haven't told anyone about this (and don't intend to) but I'm still really puzzled as to why I did this. I'm sure my past is to do with this, I was abused for a short while by my stepfather and my father is an alcoholic that has never wanted to know really. I've had a bit of trauma the last few months, but why did I do this? Why now? Any opinions or advice would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (29 January 2006):
 We all do things that we can regret later when drunk.
Please don't beat yourself up about it or try to psycho-analyse your behaviour too much. Your inhibitions were down and you felt horny, that should be the end of it now. Push it to the back of your mind and forget about it.
And it is true how many people propsition taxi drivers, as the male anon poster said, I am in the situation of ahving a friend who is a taxi driver and he has this *problem* quite a bit, and YES so has he!
Forget it, it happened and now it's in the past.
x
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (24 January 2006):
 Well it is hard to say without knowing the precise nature of the trauma you have suffered but if, as I am guessing, it is relationship trauma then it maybe that, intoxicated, you may wanted to have felt wanted.
I think your past may well inform your sense of shame. I would look at your actions closely but not torture yourself over them. Have you gone through life feeling that you need to feel wanted by men and feeling this is important? As the other post said, you made a mistake and obviously have learnt from it. Dont torture yourself it happens alot and if you learn and grow from it it will ultimately make you a better person.
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