A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I guy I´ve emailing quite long time now after we met in person 2 years back, I called him to say Hi since we are long distance and holidays are coming. I always knew he has 3 kids but I never knew much about them, or how old they are. So, I asked him how many kids he has and he made a pause to say "My kids, I have 3" and I asked their ages, and he said " I have a 16, 10 and 8 year old". So I said "you have a 15 year old!" WOW, that´s great congrats ( I got all nervous, didn't saw it coming )and he just say nothing. He´s a young guy to have kids that old, he 35. I´m 31 and no kids yet, so I'm the one who should feel awkward not him.Why you think he acted like that. Made me feel like I was out of line since we have become friends and do enjoy being friends. Did I do something wrong?I apologize to him for asking something he might not be ready to share yet, he did said not to worry and thanked me for the call.Yeah, well they don´t live with him, but since he mentions them a lot I asked. I feel like if I should say something to him b/c I like him and I don´t want this to ruin our friendship
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Agree with all the wonderful Aunties below me! Marvelous advice. You met this guy you like, 2 years ago and you've both been emailing for some time now. Was this the first phone call, you ever made to him? I guess what I am driving at is usually 'friends' don't have such awkward moments. Listen, I kinda curse the internet at times like this, because this is the stark difference between phoning and emailing. Emailing doesn't give you a true picture of the other person's personality and worldview. You likely didn't know him as well as you thought you should have. Phoning someone and just thinking off the top of the head is a lot tougher than emailing them, where you can take time to think about what you want to say. When awkward moments happen like this, it makes you really, really think if you really do know the other person on the other end of the phoneline, doesn't it? So really, NO...you were not out of line to ask after their ages. Although, it sounds like if you made a slight verbal mistake on the age of the oldest kid, due to your nervousness, I would think that as a friend, he would've understood that and could've just politely or jokingly, corrected you. Listen, don't be hard on yourself. You don't need to say anything more to him. It's done..it's over. You can't change the way he reacted, which I thought was a bit 'cold' of him to do that. Lay back for awhile and see if he emails you and he probably will. You did nothing wrong! Believe that...ok? . The incident will likely not be mentioned. Just continue to be positive, happy, keep believeing in your worthiness as an amazing person, and realize anyone who is friends with you...takes you as is. And may I suggest maybe you both could make regular phone calls to each other, to simply get to know each other in a 'real life' way. That will make this friendship take root and who knows, it could develop into something more meaningful.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 It's quiet possible that he was as uncomfortable as you were. If you were asking abot them he might have thought you had an alterier motive. Perhaps it was just a bad day. Or maybe it was the fact that you were so uneasy when you tried to make conversation about the kids that you just thought he was acting strange over the deal.
It could have been no big deal at all to him. Don't let it bother you. Let it go and until he decides to talk about the kids just refrain from doing so at least until you have had more time to get better aquainted. Hopefully he will bring them up to you and then you can properly approach it with care.
No need to stress for the fact is you are only friends and it seems online and long distance at that. Let things unfold on their own, slowly and naturally. All good comes from a good beginning, and nothing bad can stand between what is meant to be.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (26 November 2008):
 It is possible if the kids don't live with him that there is a sadness about that. But I agree with the others, you didn't ask anything out of line.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): huh? I dont get it...if your friendship is gonna get ruined for you asking a harmless question like that there's no much of a friendship there
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): No, you didn't do anything wrong. I did notice he told you he had a 16 year old, and you replied "Wow, you have a 15 year old, that's great." He might possibly have wondered if you didn't hear what he told you.
Maybe next time you talk you could ask him to tell you some more about his children, what they're like, what they enjoy doing, stuff like that. Perhaps he'd be happy to tell you more if he thinks you are genuinely interested.....
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