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Why did he get into the relationship if he was doubting this from the beginning?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 March 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2007)
A female age 30-35, *airhalflin writes:

...

So many things happened...I was with some guy but things ended abruptly when he was confused about his feelings. I stayed there for him like a champ and after a while my feelings were confused as well...things are alright. My friend talked to him and my friend told him "you know, I don't know why she still cares even a bit because she didn't even like you that much..." Well he got mad and told him "well, I didn't like her that much either." Well, why the hell would he get mad over something that wasn't there? He gets hurt because I didn't want him anymore. But why would he care if he didn't have feelings for me anymore? It doesn't make sense to me. Like...its stupid of him not being honest from the beginning...and maybe I was stupid too because I wanted to warm up to him so I stayed...my feelings for him are completely shot down now because I'm honestly just tired of a lot of me giving and getting nothing in return...I'm alright. I'm tired of busting my balls for things and getting no award...maybe that's the way life is...I gave up...like I want to be his friend and stuff but he always makes things weird between us...maybe I do too because I guess we both got use to being with eachother...in that sense. There are no words we can exchange that can make everything better...I just know that I'm angry at him for being the way he is...what is he trying to prove? Why did he get into the relationship if he was doubting from the beginning? I know my reasons...but is he scared to tell me? I'm fustrated....I'm tired. Whatever...I'll wipe my hands clean of everything...but what should I do?

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A female reader, livi United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2007):

livi agony aunthey there,

YOu need to tell what you think becoz how elese is he to know how you are feeling,

sounds like he does like you otherwise he wouldn ot reacted like that when he heard you apparently didnt like him. keep him close as a friend, doesnt mean you have to bend over backwards to meet his every demand, you need to let him know your not a pushover but your not going to desert him either.

Xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007):

Look, its difficult and who knows what his reasons were for getting into a relationship with you to begin with? Maybe he hoped something would develop; maybe he wanted sex. There is no way to tell.

You say you are tired of being patient and giving and getting nothing in return. You could send an email stating that and saying you do not understand what he wanted from the relationship. See if he replies, and what he says. If its rambling and confusing, I'd say put a "full stop" to it and move on. Some things are more trouble than they're worth - sounds as if you are finding that out, right now. (Of course, if he does not reply then let it go with no further contact).

Please don't let this frustrating situation discourage you from trying again with someone else!

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