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Why did he disappear?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2011)
A female Greece age 41-50, *hristinaathens writes:

I am so hurt. Back in October I started going out with this guy. We were on the phone every day and went out almost every day. About two months later we slept together. But It was a bit of hot and cold after that, we didnt become a couple but kind of felt like friends with benefits thing, although we were on the phone every day and still went out a lot. We had sex two more times, but not every time we went out (which is weird, guys are normally all over you and I could feel that he was turned on) When I asked him about us he said he wasnt ready for a relationship and we shouldnt have sex again because it's not fair on me.

We continued talking on the phone but he avoided any meeting up until a month later. When we went out he was all over me and I did say that I am not into a free relationship and he said he still doesn't want a relationship. We started making out but he stopped it, cause he said it would not be making love to me, it would just be sex and he didn't want that for me( which felt weird, what guy doesn't want to have sex when he is when it's that close?? and who says that at this day and age??)

A week later he started calling me almost every day, he said he never loved another woman as quickly as he has loved me, he missed me, he things I am the sexiest woman he ever met, he is so attracted to me, he things of me every day etc etc. We went out. And had sex. After that I felt he was kind of angry, but couldnt quite be certain..Four day later I called him and he didnt answer. He called me back half an hour later but his workphone was ringing so he said he had to call me back. That was it. Two weeks ago. Nothing since. I dont get it??? Why would he say all those things to me and then dissapear? And the weird feeling I have is that it has something to do with sex because something does not feel right?

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A female reader, B123 Ireland +, writes (18 February 2011):

B123 agony auntP.S. He disappeared cos he doesn't care what you think. He may say that he does but its all words. How do you know he is not doing the same to some other woman??? while he is not with you. He is prob getting off on the fact that he can have a few women at the same time. You see my point. I had an ex like that and I can tell you from experience I have never taken him back and am so so happy to have him out of my life!! It might take you 6 months if you really love him to get over him but you will!!! just imagine he died. That way you will heal quicker.

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A female reader, B123 Ireland +, writes (18 February 2011):

B123 agony auntI hate to say this to you but I think he is using you for sex when it suits him. You need to get out of this situation as quick as you can - you are already becoming emotionally attached to a man who is currently totally devoid of giving you the love you deserve and can have. You need to put him as 'dont answer' as his name on your phone. Don't ever talk to him again - move on and go out and meet new people who want a real relationship with you. I know you prob are mad into him but its only going to leave up all hurt and in a misery the longer you give him whatever he wants when it suits him. He is displaying signs of selfishness. Its up to you what you do ultimately but he has all the hallmarks of a man who is using a woman just to get his sexual kicks. I doubt you want to be his toy anymore. Dump his ass and don't even give it a second thought otherwise the more you dwell on this - the more it will hurt. Good luck and I hope I have helped you.B

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011):

Believe in what he DOES , don't believe in what he SAYS.

If a man wants to have sex..he will tell you all kind of nice things to make you feel the ONE..but is not true!!!

Don't talk to him, don't answer the phone...move on and forget this stupid jerkk.

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