A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi all, in need of a little advice. a month ago i met a really nice , decent guy, through online dating.we had 5 amazing dates over the course of 4 weeksand connected and got on so well. sex wasnt in the equasion , we just enjoyed eachothers company. things , however, began to get weird, on his part.he began messaging me , saying he didnt want a serious relationship so soon, because he'd been hurt so many times in the past. I agreed , i didnt want that so soon either and was happy to date, although he said he thought it would be best if we remained just friends because he said , he reconed hed fall for me, and he didnt want to , incase he got hurt again. at the time, i went with the flow.then after some thinking i think i did something stupid. instead of giving him time to come round, i decided to cut ties with him, and told him, i cant be friends with someone who would get my hopes up like that. now im kind of regretting this , i must of sounded so immature. he just replied saying "ok goodbye".now im stuck , because i miss our late night phone calls, sometimes we'd chat for 4 hours. he was my company for quite a while. i just cant get my head around why he would think i would hurt him. im not out to hurt anyone, and im more considerate than others considering iv been cheated on twice in my last 2 relationships. and he knew this. i cant help thinking this could of been just an excuse to cover another reason for not wanting to see me anymore. and if it wasnt an excuse, and he really is messed up about his ex's , then what are the chances he might want to talk again? i dont even think i would know where to start. any ideas or insight would bemuch appreciated.
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female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (25 July 2010):
Sounds Like he just gave up to easily? i don't mean to be rude or sound crude! did he just get what he wanted and he hit the road (next) because you had rights and say so in this too! not just him it sounds like a one way to me? there are so many men out there take your time and dont be so quit to jump this time! i mean have you ever thought of why you had some screw ups? enjoy you the right one will come your way and his excuse wont be to sleep w/ you then say oh by the way i dont want a relationship i've been hurt.
like wer'e all the same. dog! dog! dog!
Move On.....
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 I would suggest you not take back your words. You told him you can't wait for him to come around and he took it literally. You probably meant it too. He doesn't want to waste your time in case you want to look for a better guy. I think he's still being hurt so he shouldn't really be posting himself online. You have to realize online dating sites are fool of lonely people who just got out of a relationship. It offers a lot of hope but it doesn't reflect the readiness of each candidate to date again. Women may be more emotionally resilient than men. Talking to another female might boost his confidence again but he has to be patient that and let time heals him. I believe he's not using an excuse, he has a valid reason to stay off relationships. He's misrepresenting himself online though. At least he got someone to talk to on those lonely nights. It's not that you would hurt him. It's just maybe relationships aren't worth it because men and women have irreconciliable differences.
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