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Why couldnt he have just told me he was not interested?

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Question - (20 June 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-wait-or-make-the-next-move.html

i wrote this question back in feb after id met this amazin guy! i thought it went great. he text me after we'd met, he said he liked me, he asked me if we were meetin again sometime.. he seemed really interested, but in may nothing had been said about meetin up again, althought we spoke ALOT on MSN, i finally plucked up the courage to ask him to meet in may! he said hed love to.. we aggreed to meet in the same place as last time, at half 7, i stood there at half 7. i was still stood there at half 8! id waited over an hour and he didnt even turn up! i tried to phone him and his phone was switched off! i walked round the corner and i got on the bus, i sat and cried!

the first time i met him was amazin, he kissed me and i instantly fell for him, he was the only thing on my mind, then three weeks ago he stood me up! hes not been on MSN since, and i know its cos hes blocked me. and i think he's got a new number! i think about him 24/7, no lie, i cry myself to sleep most nights, because i think about him! and i know its stupid, cos i know you probably think, you cant love the guy! not after this short amount of time! youve met him once.. blaa... but its the late night convos, the heart to heart phone calls, the everything that went together before we actually met up that make me like him ALOT! and i dont have a clue what to think anymore. why couldnt he have just told me he want interested? do you think he found someone else? i cant think of any other reason why he wouldnt have just been honest! please, someone please explain why he's been like this? i cant work out whether its something i did, or whether he really wasnt interested! :( x'

View related questions: msn, text

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A female reader, miracle United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2009):

Honey I don't mean to alarm you but... Something could have happened to him. You seemed to have been getting on too great for him to just disappear of the face of the earth like that. If you have mutual friends you might wanna find out if he's ok... if there have heard from him. Thingd happens and people never get to where they were meant to be.

Hold your head high!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for replying to my question, i dont think his mum would have stopped him, hes 21 now, he was 20 at the time, i was 16 but am 17 now.. yeah we had only met the once, and it was always him doing the texting and phoning me, he was always the first one to talk on msn, he'd send me cute wall posts on facebook etc... to be honest i think he was more likely to suffocate me.. i understand that he probably just wasnt in to me, i just dont understand why he'd go along with it for so long afterwards.. ask me to meet up with him again! he told me he liked me everytime we spoke, how 'gorgeous' i was etc... but thanks so much anyway! hes in the past. ive realised hes not worth my tears :D

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A female reader, diobolicmuphin United States +, writes (21 June 2009):

Sounds like either you suffocated him somehow, which seems unlikely seeing as how you guys had limited meetings if I understand correctly. The other option could be that he did in fact find someone else. Did his parents like you? You didn't give his age, but if his parents have some insane control over who he hangs out with and whatnot, they may have had something to do with it. Maybe he didn't tell you because he was ashamed of something. Perhaps he's been seeing someone all along and had to quickly cover from his girlfriend. The only person who really knows is him which is why it's a much better idea to set your sights on someone new. Even if you could ask him, you have no way of knowing what he tells you is true. If you sit around wondering why he left you, you're only going to make things worse on yourself. Find a way to distract yourself, maybe a new hobby or even a new guy. Just channel your pain into forgetting about him. Love is tough, you can't avoid the pains it brings and you wouldn't want to avoid it's joys. The best advice I can give you is to protect yourself from it. Don't let yourself get all wound up with some guy until you are absolutely sure that he wants to be with you as much if not more.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (21 June 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntI'm really sorry but he's just not that into you. Online chatting is fun but you don't really get to know a person until you meet them face to face. You two met and he didn't feel the spark. That doesn't mean it was right from him to stand you up - in fact that was extremely f'n rude - but it's why he did it. I don't think it's stupid to be upset at all.

Some guys are afraid of hurting a woman so they do a fast fade instead...they don't know that really hurts us more than honesty. Instead of knowing straight up he's not interested, you get to sit around and wonder. So cruel, you know?

However, things will get better with time. I can't promise this won't happen to you again but next time you'll know how to deal with it.

Good luck.

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