A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello,My boyfriend and i have been together for a long time, and we have had a long distance relationship for 8 months now. Everything was going great, but recently i have been noticing that he doesn't call,text or e-mail as much. His job is really stressful and he doesn't like to talk about it sometimes, which is fine. But when he calls, we barely talk long (5 to 10 minutes) every day, and I am usually the one that starts conversation. When I ask him why he doesnt, he just says that he doesn't like to talk on the phone, and that we have nothing to talk about, because we pretty much talk every day, and because we know each other so well.I said that in order to keep a long distance relationhip progressing, we have to nurture it. It seems like I am always the one who sends little stuff to him through e-mails and letters or care packages, to remind him that I love him, but it doesn't seem like he wants to, or feels the need to. He says that when we see each other, everything gets fixed, but when we dont, he says I'M the one that can't handle the distanceBut still, I would like to see some initiative to keep this relationship alive. Do you think I'm asking too much of him? Or am I justified for feeling this way?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 March 2008):
 Sorry , your b/f is not the e-mail type.
He is single minded and there are other things which are more important to him .
Writing e-mails is not his forte.
He wants to be in the driver's seat and when he is blue,
then he will think of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is, I dont email or text ALL THE TIME, maybe once or twice a week, he just never responds....one thing i forgot to mention, he is in the marines, but he hasnt been deployed yet. Could it still be possible that he might be involved with someone else? Sometimes I think he keeps in touch with an ex, but he assure me there was nothing going on, and that he doesnt talk to her that much anymore.A week is CRAZY!! but I think this will be good too. at least for me.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (30 March 2008):
You need to realize that a man and woman are not the same
and they don't think alike.
The sooner you realized this ,
the better you will understand them.
If you are expecting him to response back like what you
think he should , then you will be greatly disappointed.
You may feel justified about your feelings but you do not
understand how a man ticks.
He thinks with only one side of his brain and most men
cannot express their emotions.
This is because of their social upbringings.
When they are chasing you , they are all attentive,
but once when the chase is over, they will fall into a normal routine.
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A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (30 March 2008):
 I don't know what it is, but us guys don't like being text'ed and e-mail all the time. On the other hand, a serious conversation with a lover, isn't a bad thing. However, when love becomes a routine (e.g. phone call every day) it is often depressing to us. I agree with the other aunt, end the routine, shake things up, maybe loosen up a bit. That'll probably get his attention.It's also possible he's no longer into you, so take that into consideration. You may even want to confront him about it.And to answer your final question. Yes, you are justified. You expect more from life! That's always justified baby!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): Dear Anonymous Girl,
I find it possible that he is involved (or will be) with someone else. Your love tokens are sweet, but men do not respond to such things the way women do. He thinks you are having a hard time with the distance, which you are, and you can't get him to open up.
Every time I've gotten too gushy with a guy, he backs off in some way. Either he gets too comfortable and it isn't exciting for him anymore, or it just isn't as exciting for him anymore. Some men really enjoy the "chase". If your guy knows he has you, which you remind him of with notes and such, he feels less manly because he's not being challenged. If you want to find out what's up, I would completely ignore all communication for one week. Enjoy your days by keeping busy, being creative, rediscovering other joys in life, and remembering that there are always 10 guys in your area who you would date! You just haven't met them because you've been giving your boyfriend the attention he doesn't want or deserve.
If you can actually make it a week, my hope is that he will finally be honest or you will plum get over him in one of those grand revelations we all have!
Good Luck. And you will find a guy who is the exception and like the love tokens!
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