New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244961 questions, 1084299 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why can't I find anyone?!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, *g writes:

I'm not sure what to do, I just can't find anyone! Its been about 3 years since I've had a relationship, in the time between I've filled that void of my life with work and study. Now I just feel empty and lonesome, its not even so much a sexual thing as it is a total lack of emotional contact. As a man in uniform I now have no escape from the stringent impersonal nature of my career.

I thought I was in a descent state to meet someone, I'm 178cm, educated (engineering major), and a varsity collegiate athlete. Worst of all I live in New York City, so I have to watch all the happy people walk by my window hand in hand.

I can be a bit quiet and contemplative, but I'm not unfriendly, what should I do? Where should I go?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009):

Use the Law of Attraction... there are books on it, but no real formula, it's pretty intuitive and exactly as it sounds... Believe that you are in the process of meeting someone, that it's happening right now. And you will attract someone. As long as you believe you are empty and lonesome, that will be true. Think positive thoughts. Be OPEN and RECEPTIVE or you will risk being blind to love opportunities and possibilities. Accept every invitation, go out and meet friends of friends of friends.

Quiet, contemplative, studious and in uniform sounds HOT to me.

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

I understand u dude...I am going thru the exact same feeling. Women are weird, but we love them anyway... I have not had a glimpse of attention or touch from a woman in four years. It is indeed frustrating. So you are not alone, and I am 43. I also have never be able in the past to land the women I want, I need to conform with what comes on its own. Women tend to go for the PERSONALITY THAT SHOWS MORE SECURITY. If u begin to feel insecure and want to share your feelings, you are dead, they simply move on and alone you remain, and they do not care if you need to yank it, it is not their problem.

I was dating once this cute girl, and in 4 weeks I managed to take her to my bed. She left my home horrified of me, the story was that she was not ready sexually to be with me, for me to learn that she met a man on the disco and suck his tit in public and took him home for wild sex, destroyed me inside, she was all ready to go but not with I. Why woman prefer other men than us?... it will remain a mystery. I hope there are some cool answeres here for that.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, bg United States +, writes (1 September 2008):

bg is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To be honest I never really found clubs that interesting, the women always seemed distant or fake, but I guess I'll just have to keep at. Heck, in another year I won't even have to sneak in through the back door!

Maybe in clubs located closer to coed colleges, since I've always seen the ideal woman as being much smarter than myself.

Thanks for the advice, next time I'm granted liberty I'll probably head into Manhattan.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (1 September 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntYou're at a point in your life when all the cards belong to the other side in the game. Women pretty much rule the dating scene in your age bracket (it changes when you get to be about 50, but that's not going to help you very much).

First maxim is you hunt ducks where the ducks are. Look around you. What kind of activities do you see going on that are open to both men and women but that have more women than men? Single women are preferred, but believe me, if there are even a lot of married women sooner or later one or more of them will decide that you would be "just perfect" for some single relative or friend of hers. If you don't have any other suggestions to hand, I'll start you out with one: ballroom dancing. You'll be a great hit, even if you've got two left feet.

Start going to such activities on a regular basis, and just relax and participate. Have a good time. Sooner or later somebody will come along. And in the process you will make friends as well, so you won't be sitting home alone thinking of how lonely you are.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008):

get your self bk out there u only live once and you got a make the most of it

Make ur self stand out go to a club floor some dance moves get chatting and mabey you gcud meet the gurl of ya dreams

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Why can't I find anyone?!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156137000012677!