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Why are we both shy and quiet with each other?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 19 May 2008)
A female United States, anonymous writes:

Do you think he minds that I get shy and quiet with him when wanting to be intimate as in having sex.

I have known this guy for almost a year, we dated for about 8 months and had broken up a couple of times because an old girlfriend with a personality disorder would not leave me alone.....we have tried to just be friends.

Recently it seems we are trying to rekindle something, we are starting to have sex again, and I have noticed that we don't talk as much right before, he teases me a little, but he gets quiet and so do I, there are gazes in the eyes, lots of kissing, and sex is very good....is it bad that I feel like I have nothing to say to him before hand....it is like we have some past history, some hurts that maybe should be dredged up and discussed, but I don't want to fight or get him upset, it is like I don't want to talk, I just want to feel the connection... I don't know what this means, I feel sort of shy, but happy at the same time....and he seems tentative...but very tender and affectionate....do you think he wants to love me again? He made a comment today when helping me with gardening, that he was my slave because he helps me paint my house, mow my yard and put down mulch, and I said, yeah I need a husband, and he said I know I will never be your husband....(in a previous discussion after we broke up, I told him that I would never marry him, so he could relax).....he also said that should not be the reason I should get married that it should be for love......I don't know why he is saying these things to me.....

What do you all think about the shy quiet stuff.....it's not like we don't know each other well.

We are both middle aged, too....not a couple of kids.

View related questions: broke up, kissing, shy

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A male reader, oroberi United States +, writes (19 May 2008):

I think whats going on here, is that you both have hurts to deal with, and you both care alot for one another. The quiet is simply that, you are leaving your fears and hopes all unspoken and just leaving them unspoken. I don't know how healthy that is.

It sounds to me like you both care deeply. You should probably try to figure out what your both scared to be saying.

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