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Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2014) 14 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2014)
A male United States age 36-40, *rene writes:

I got a question, i'm a gay guy and I love straight men, especially buff or frat guys.

I can't get enough of them.

Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2014):

I guess you have been blown out by a straight guy who you thought may be willing to try you out.

Why are you so attracted to straight men who you can't have?

Can't win em all sorry.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (27 July 2014):

This has got to be the most obvious answer to anyone who puts an ounce of thought into it.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (26 July 2014):

llifton agony auntAre you asking why are straight men scared to sleep with a gay man?

It's usually the other way around when I see this type of question being asked. It's usually a straight person asking gay people why they don't just try being with someone of the opposite sex. And my answer to that question is the same answer I would give you - a straight man prefers women the same way that a gay man prefers men. It's not that they are 'scared to try something new.' It's that they are attracted to women and that's who they desire being with.

I am gay and I love straight women lol. They seem to be my weakness. But I don't think all straight women are simply just scared to try sleeping with me. I think straight women just know who they are and that they prefer men. End of story. They are no more scared of being with a woman than I am scared of being with a man. I don't not date men because I'm scared to try it. Or because I don't like them. I love men. I don't date them because it's not what I'm attracted to. Same with straight men. Straight men aren't afraid. They just know what they like. End of story.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014):

New like riding a motorcycle? New like drinking a pop soda? New like trying out yoga,or giving karate a chance? You are talking about changing someone's sexual preference. That's an entirely different universe of new. I'm a straight male and being with a gay male sexually/romantically is NO WHERE NEAR as an option for trying something new

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (26 July 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt And why are you not out there right now experimenting new cunnilingus techniques ? Are you scared ?...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 July 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIf you mean why would a straight men NOT have sex with you? Because he is STRAIGHT. That means SEXUYALLY he is attracted to women ONLY.

Now if he was BI-sexual, pansexual or bi-curious you might have a chance, but an absolutely straight guy? Not going to happen.

That would be the same as a women calling me a prude (or whatnot) for not wanting sex with another woman. I just don't find the notion hot at all.

My question is, why are you wasting your time chasing unavailable men? men who don't WANT you in that sense?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014):

Well, although people argue that sexuallity is fluid, I believe that some people just are very specific about what they want.

I'm a strictly straight female. I have never been interested in sex/relationship with another girl, as it is not appealing to me. I have quite some gay/bi friends. One of them actually hit on me when we first met, and annoyed the hell out of me by constantly saying that I "should just try a night with a girl", even though I say from the start that I was flattered but that I wasn't gay. It wasn't the fact that she hit on me, it was the constant insistence. She stopped it and we became friends.

So my point is, it's not fear of trying new things. I don't feel the slightest need to experiment with girls, the same way straight guys don't feel the need to experiment with other guys.

If you fancy the chase and the possibility of making a guy experiment with a guy, maybe you should try a dude that identifies himself as bi.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014):

I'm gay. I notice you're you're mature, and in your thirties. You're no novice to the gay-culture.

You know that if a man is "straight" (or heterosexual, for the proper term); he isn't interested in sex with another man.

If he was, he wouldn't be heterosexual. They aren't scared to try something new. They just don't want to have sex with another man!!! That's what makes him "straight!!!"

Like you may not prefer women. Are you scared?

I've had sex with women, long before I had sex with a man. I wasn't afraid to try something new, I was afraid to accept who I am.

I had sex with women to make sure that it wasn't what I wanted, or liked just a tad. I just wanted to have sex; and then I would address the issue of my sexual-orientation.

It had to be based on what I know. I know what sex with a female is like. It isn't bad at all. It just isn't what I prefer. I don't even want it anymore; because men satisfy me just fine. They are equipped with what turns me on.

Although I love boobs, bubble-butts, and curvy females.

I can't help but stare at pretty women. I don't even want sex with them anymore; but their lady-parts are like magnets. No, it is not a choice. Sexually, I know what turns me on for sure. MEN!!!

I have always had an attraction to men, as far back as my mind can remember.

I'm not sexually attracted to "effeminate" men; because I have a preference like everyone else. I like femininity in females, and sexually prefer guys who "are not" effeminate.

Although I can be attracted to guys who have a delicate

and refined disposition. It can be quite sexy and seductive. It's a quality some possess, without flamboyant exaggeration. It comes naturally. I can be quite gentle and

nurturing myself. I will never describe myself as "straight-acting;because I'm not putting on an act. I'm finally able to be myself.

Leave straight guys alone, sexually. If they accept who you are; they are comfortable in their own skin, and secure with their sexuality. They don't give a f*ck what you like sexually; but they draw the line when you point your pecker in their direction.

You like the challenge of trying to "change" a guy, or cross him over. If he does, he was merely a gay or bisexual guy in the closet, waiting for the opportunity to kick down the door!

Trying to get a straight man to submit to gay-sex usually requires seduction with alcohol or drugs. When His defenses are down, and he is not in full charge of his mental faculties.

To put it bluntly. It requires taking advantage of someone when they have been rendered incapacitated to some degree, and they are defenseless. They are unable to use better judgement.

I find that disgusting and detestable! That's date-rape!!!

If he submits willingly, he was curious, and he wanted to know what it is like to be with a man. It does not mean he is gay. If he is straight, he will not like it, and will never try it again.

As one straight friend of mine put it. "Meh!!!"

It just didn't do a damned thing for him. He knew a gay-guy in college, who wanted to give him a blowjob. He decided to try something new. He just couldn't get it up. It just wouldn't happen. I told him if he were in prison, there might be a different outcome. To which he again replied. "Meh!!!"

I've been gay for a long time. I have straight, gay, and bisexual friends. I even served in the military. During a time when gay men would be given a dishonorable discharges!

I've known many openly-gay men who go after straight guys; like straight guys go after virgin females. It's just a ego-trip, to see if you can take advantage of their vulnerability. I feel that is predatory. The thrill of the challenge of forcing someone to do something against their will, or apart from their values. That stinks!

It's a narcissistic ego-boost to see if you're "hot" enough to convert them. You want a guy you don't consider "gay." You buy into the stereotypical concept of what gay men are.

Nothing annoys me more than when gay men describe themselves as "straight-acting." What the fuck does that mean???! On a spectrum, gay men range from effeminate to macho. Macho being on the far-end of the spectrum. "Butch" as you may have it.

"Masculine" is the appropriate term for the male gender. You don't have to be "straight" to be a masculine male.

Displaying no feminine behavior or attributes.

Gay men are just as buff as any straight guy, and we're just as tough. Even women can do anything a man can do; except get an erect penis. Or get prostate cancer. So being "gay" doesn't exempt gay males from being "men."

We are in fraternities. and anywhere else you find "men!" If we don't visibly fall into the stupid/ignorant stereotypes placed on us; we go undetected and blend-in. I did so for years. Not out of self-loathing, it's how I am naturally. I just denied my sexual-preference, to hide who and what I am. GAY!!! Appropriate description and identification, homosexual.

Straight men prefer women, not gay guys who don't know how to respect boundaries.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (26 July 2014):

janniepeg agony auntThis is a sexual double standard. For women it is cool to try things on a girl but for a man, the loss of manhood is a big deal. Tomboy is cool, while sissy is weak and an insult. Anal sex is painful and to receive it somehow implies you are the subordinate one. Men for their whole lives go to great lengths to avoid being emasculated, because it means less attractive.

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A female reader, -BMBTL- United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2014):

-BMBTL- agony auntBecause they are um.. Straight :)

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (26 July 2014):

mystiquek agony auntI'm like AuntyBimBim, I dongt really understand what you are asking. Perhaps I'm just dense but your question confuses me. Straight men aren't interested in gay sex, I don't think you can "convince them or turn them". I'd call that barking up the wrong tree. And many men who are straight would find gay sex extremely unappealing.

I am straight, and although I have gay friends, I don't want to be with another woman, nor do I want to be in a threesome with 2 women (or any threesome for that matter). I'm not scared at any level, the thought of these scenarios just doesn't appeal to me in the least. Why would you want to try something that you don't have any interest in?

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A female reader, Mistresskiki United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2014):

Considering your purported age, I am surprised you are even asking this question.

I'm calling BS question here.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (26 July 2014):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI am not sure what you are asking, but if you are suggesting the 'something new' straight buff frat guys are scared to try is homosexual experimentation, then maybe the answer is that they aren't scared but simply not interested in gay guys because they prefer women.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014):

Because it would be the same as you experimenting with girls, which I'm guessing you wouldn't want to do...

They say there are degrees of sexuality, but some people do just consider themselves either gay or straight. Maybe you should try looking for a gay guy who has that kind of look you're into. Or is the reason you like them based around the idea that you could "turn" them and/or wanting what you can't have?

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