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Why are my single male friends so much more bitter than my single female friends?

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Question - (2 October 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I find it bizarre. All my male friends seem to be so bleak about their dating lives. I don't really understand why they are like this.

I don't find that most long term single women display man-hating attributes.

Yet, long term single men display so much bitterness, towards women in particular.

Lots of us are in the same boat (regardless of the gender). Why hate? They have to attract the other sex just like us.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2013):

Because men's egos are more fragile and tied to their virility. And it is hard to prove to yourself or to the world about your virility if no woman wants you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013):

You are bitter for many reasons. I have never had relationship problems with women. I have never been bitter. Any one who has that much anger and a hard on for women is close to becoming a psychopath. These are the same men that would not think twice to administer a date rape drug to a innocent women. I have friends who were not good looking and read my lips are dating women that are absolute knock outs. Why are they successful? The one main reason being is that sex is the last thing on their mind when they go out on a date and they actually treat these women with respect and dignity and know how to flirt,know how to communicate , know how to charm. And yes know how to get to a woman's heart. Old fashioned approach, maybe but guess who is with whom tonight,laughing and having a fantastic time. It is surely not all you bitter men. Stop watching the porn, stop paying to text dirty with a slut for money and start relating. And just maybe you don't know how to do this. So hire a life coach and get a attitude readjustment. There are good women out there because i am also with a beauty tonight and i also don't look like Ryan gosling and am just a average guy who is also going to have a fantasist evening. Good-day and good luck you bitter bitter losers. Life is good and i enjoy every minute of it.

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A male reader, GentleGiant Canada +, writes (3 October 2013):

To everyone can i simply say you are all barking up the wrong tree. Please Mr. Anonymous to associate being the nice guy to finishing last is not totally true. What is the definition of the average guy? In today's terms i can be considered extremely

attractive. Yet when i was a early teen i was considered ugly or a nerd. By the time i was 18 years old i transformed and matured. I was lucky i grew up in a family of two sisters and i was the only boy. I had a good relationship with my sisters but i learned many valuable life lessons. I learned how to dance and develop communication skills with women and figure out what made them tick. I also learned communication skills which included flirting, socializing etc. I had two real close male friends and let me tell you they were ugly in any woman's definition of what is ugly or handsome today. But to this day my two friends are no Ryan Goslings but have successful relationships with women who are drop dead gorgeous. Why, because they learned what i learned about women and it is no big secret.Did you any average guys try to put yourself out to do more than what you have or haven't been doing. You know as well as i do being mr. nice guy does not always work, you have to come up to the pump sometimes and try something different. If these group of men are so bitter then you have to look in your own back yard for solutions. I am firm believer that if you allow yourself up for abuse in your personal life you are going to become a victim. I personally know a least three women right now that are good looking and honest and sincere woman. They cannot find men for a long term relationship. Almost not all men they have met and that included your so called average guys all they got for feed back from them was they did not want anything long term and please can i get a piece of your butt because i just bought you a expensive lunch or where can we go where it is private i need some attention. You guys are really funny. You don't know how to relate to women, you have been watching to much porn and you have been texting to many of those sluts for money. Hey right now there are three women who would go out with you but you cant relate with other people and you have a twisted view of male and female relationships. If you should be bitter it is because of your stupidity and not your average look or your narrow minded vocabulary with women. Try hiring a life coach and taking a close look at your interpersonal relationship skills and maybe then you will be ready to date these three women who are patiently waiting for nice men to treat them with respect and not just some sex object and to develop a long and nurturing relationship. In the mean time my two nerdy friends are doing great, have great jobs and great girlfriends and it looks they will be getting married. It looks like dreams do come true. To all you bitter men hurry up and get some help and get back out there. Remember each day you only get older.Good luck....

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (2 October 2013):

In my opinion, they're not in the same boat at all. Men and women are not the same despite what we like to pretend.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013):

Let me offer a few simple words of wisdom to all of the bitter single guys out there. I myself have never been single for an extended period of time, so I'd like to think that I know a thing or two about what you all might be doing wrong. First off, stop being bitter. No one wants to go out with someone who's angry, bitter, and generally not that fun to be around. I've always been a very easy going, fun loving person and women have always found this quality in me to be quite endearing. Women love a man who's confident and fun to be around. Second, stop taking things so seriously. Nothing's worse than a guy who wreaks of desperation. Life's too short to spend it worrying about finding your soulmate. Just get out there and have some fun while you're young. Third, stop trying so hard. Don't worry about finding a girlfriend. As long as you're out there living life to it's fullest and being the confident, fun loving, and adventurous kind of guy that women actually want to be around, then the women will come to you. And most important of all, no, nice guys don't finish last. Nobody likes a douchebag. If you actually think being nice is the only reason women don't like you maybe you should drop the persecution complex and take a good long look at the size of that chip on your shoulder. Yeah, that one right there. That's probably the reason why women don't like you. As I said before, I've never been single for too long and have been happily married to a wonderful woman for seven years now, so believe me when I say I speak from experience. I've always been surrounded by multiple female friends who adore the crap out of me. The majority of my relationships ended amicably enough because we just weren't looking for the same things in life and we always parted as friends. I never took any of my break ups too seriously and because of this I usually had a new girlfriend within a few weeks, plus a long line of ex-girlfriends who still absolutely adored me as a friend and confidant. Just take my word for it and follow this advice and I promise you you'll never go wrong.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013):

Look into the subject of Nice Guys finishing last and you get the core of it. Being single is a ton of fun for a small portion of really desirable guys and hard unrewarding work for the silent majority of us.

Most of us "average guys" spent ages 15-25 waiting for women to start liking our type. And now that they do, they have less to offer, more baggage, and they want us to pay twice as much as the other guys did for it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013):

My male friends are like that too...

I think it's because many men who experience or have experienced breakups take it really badly...Initially, they are better than women in dealing with it but after a period of time, they develop hatred towards women because of it. I've also been told it's a LOT harder for a man to get a date than for a woman to get one (my male friends told me this, again). Some men do not know how to approach women and grow frustrated and take it out on the general population. Women do the same thing, I've seen. I would say ignore their negative attitudes because they'll be single and bitter and lonely for a long time if they don't change their outlook!

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