A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've noticed something over the years and even more so recently that I find to be rather unsettling. It's true that a lot of men like to go to strip clubs, look at porn with famous porn stars in it, and ogle women in public who resemble someone you would typically see in mainstream porn or in bars and strip clubs. This doesn't bother me.What bothers me is that men who don't like these types of women get made fun of and called "gay" by other men and even some women. It really irritates me. Why does it seem like no one is allowed to have their own opinion anymore without being criticized? Surely just because a man doesn't find those types of women attractive doesn't make him gay. I think it's absurd how many people seem to make that assumption. Why do they do this?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 February 2012):
 Honestly, if people around you call you gay for those reasons you are hanging around pond scum.
That is NOT the general attitude. I honestly think 9 out of 10 women would appreciate a guy like that and not think him gay, but a gentleman.
1 out of 10 might be that "porn star looking/acting " kinda chick and might be offended that you don't think her hot, so what better thing to do to get back at you then call you gay? Some people just don't think.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (5 February 2012):
 Like the anonymous reader below, I have never heard of any man being accused of being gay simply because he wasn't attracted to porn star looking women.
Conversely I've heard of many men being turned off women who appeared to be 'too available' or seeking a certain kind of attention.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): I think "tramp" and "slut" are the words you're looking for. It's all ego. Nobody likes rejection so these people try to make it seem as if their mistakes were actually a product of their philosophy. In order to communicate with them you have to learn their code language.
"Everybody makes mistakes" = "I've made mistakes"
"Accept the way I am or you're judgmental" = "Don't use your brain"
"OK, we'll be friends I guess" = "I'm going to spread a rumor that you're GAY"
"The past belongs in the past" = "My past is fucked up"
"I've matured and physical attraction doesn't matter anymore" = "I'm growing old and getting ugly"
"You're not open minded" = "Now you made me feel sad again"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): I don't know of any men who have been called gay for not liking porn or strip clubs or women with fake boobs etc. Maybe you're hanging around with the wrong people?
Plenty of men like women who are naturally beautiful and who don't fit what you're talking about. Different cultures have certain standards/ideals for body types at times, obviously not everyone fits that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): It is probably said because the guy or guys saying it are homophobic. Not All straight men like overtly sexual women but that does not make them gay. Try explaining that to a homophobe! Their fear is irrational and as such, you can not alter their perception. Just try to ignore them.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 February 2012):
 What kind of types of women are you talking about???
Heh, if you're attracted to a woman who society deems that you shouldn't be attracted to, then pardon my language, but F*** society! You find beautiful who you find beautiful.
Society does this because as much as we say we uphold individuality, we're still conformist at heart. Case in point -- look up Mauritania, where society demands that girls reaching puberty be fattened up in the extreme. Their mothers start the process by feeding them an oily, fatty paste (couscous mixed with butter and chased down with whole milk) designed for one purpose only -- to bulk up as fast and as much as possible. In that culture, the fattest women are the most desirable and sought after by the men.
I said that to say this -- there IS no biological imperative that says you can only be attracted to a certain type of woman, any more than you can say that bigotry and racism are likewise biological. Both stem from the societal norms of the day. Hell, not too long ago, a large wife was a status symbol for the husband, which showed that he was a virile, able, and good provider for his family, meaning that he was a societal alpha male.
Bottom line, you like who you like, and don't let anyone even begin to tell you different!
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A
male
reader, Handout +, writes (5 February 2012):
My opinion is that we are a generation that likes to assume and criticize. People love to see people hurt. People tend to say things like that due to jealousy. Maybe they even like the guy. True, guys should be able to like what they want. People just have to learn to ignore and live life.
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