A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So basicallyI have been with my BF 10 months today and things have been beyond perfect, few fights, no girl issues just pure love as we live about 2 hours away from Eachother (depending on traffic) he comesTo see me every week and stays over, this is a very long term thing as we talk about us and our future a lot (note: we have been speaking for 2 years). Anyway there is no doubt about his love for me however I have a thing about other girls not about him Leaving me for another as he is very loyal but in the way he has 1 ex... we are young as is (18 and 19) when my BF was younger so about 13? He was with a girl in secondary school he said he liked her for 3 years and they were close friends who ended up going out for a couple of months before she went off with someone else... Now this should not bother me one bit as I have been with more guys and done more things... He was a Virgin when we began talking all through to our relationship then well yeah you know... Anyway nothing happening with this girl beyond kissing... They went to Each others once which I was in aware of until last night as we were talking about it has he has never spoken to me about it before properly because he knows I get upset... He tried so many times to get me to believe that what they were was nothing like us and I do believe him but I have been in a relationship similar where I was chasing after a guy who I was with for a year at the same age and we never saw Eachother out of school.... It's the fact I knew how I felt and I hate to think he thought about another girl the same way even though I did about another guy!!! I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me crazy :( please help me stop thinking about her she's not even a nice person or that attractive!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Campari Milano +, writes (26 February 2017):
If you truly love him, you have to trust him, or I guarantee you will lose him.
There is only so many times you will say to a partner, 'there's nothing going on!' before you can't take it anymore. Just keep reminding yourself that jealousy is ugly!
You could be the most beautiful and wonderful girlfriend ever, but it won't matter if you don't let it go!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 September 2016):
 Love can be quite greedy. Your present is almost perfect because you only get to see each other once a week. You also want the future, and his past. What that girl had that you don't was the raw emotions and the painful unrequited love that he felt towards her. The way he put her on pedestal. The intense curiosity of what she felt like if they've had sex.
You have to stop thinking about her realizing that obsessing about it would not improve your relationship or change the past. It does not achieve anything but give you headaches or make you feel lesser. Keep reminding yourself that "hard to get" does not always mean better or more valuable. You would notice that thoughts about her would come up from time to time. Just train yourself to not react to it, until it becomes a non issue.
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