A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why were there so many cliques at the work christmas party last saturday? Im not in any clique...I Try to say hi and be polite..to all, am quieter at times but am (quietly assertive and am mostly friendly at work) some people ignored me and sat and talked and drank.. and didnt speak to sone people, me included..(i wasnt drinking as i had to work at 7am sunday, not all of us drank..) Whats with the cliques? We mostly all work well together as a team.. Some people who talk at work didnt, not even a"hi"Is this the group/clique "mentality?? People end up cliquey in groups ??
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 My guess is that it was groups who just get on better with each other and are friends. Work nights out are like this. Maybe you can accept that they are work mates not friends, or if you want to be friends with any of them then make more off an effort to get to know them. People do tend to cling on the the people they get on with the best.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (16 December 2016):
 Are these really cliques, or just groups of people who get on? And if they get on why don't they get on with you? If you don't have any friends it's your fault. What is it about you that makes people not want to include you?
I think you can probably get help with this and should probably consider it. Don't do 'Poor me'. Do something to fix it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2016): Cliques are formed by people who feel self-important by excluding others. It's snobbishness, and I find it contemptible. All you can do is be cordial and professional as usual; because these are your co-workers, but don't allow this ignorance to get to you.
People these days seem to have some type of arrested-development when it comes to social-interaction and communicative-skills. They don't play well with others.
As a supervisor, I take this into account when writing up performance-reviews. This behavior reflects on their professionalism, it negatively effects the office environment, and the morale of their co-workers. If they don't like it, they are free to dispute it. It's my job to supervise and maintain a comfortable and professional atmosphere, that reflects well on the reputation of our company. It is up to the management to see that you work in a safe, healthy, and professional environment. Not something comparable to a gang of mean-spirited high school students. The cliquish behavior seems most evident with our female-employees. So I've noticed.
Unlike small operations, larger more progressive corporations are changing to adopt a stress-free employee-friendly work environment. If management is aware this is going on; there is an effort to make everyone feel included. We place emphasis on good-spirit and comradery. Smaller businesses are less sophisticated, more informal, and tolerate deplorable behavior among their employees. Then wonder why they have high turnover and legal liability. The truth is, you can't force people to like each other; you can require them to show respect and courtesy to their co-workers. That's really all you should expect.
Human-nature is human-nature. People seem to be happy with exercising intolerance, exclusion, and prejudice. You just have to persevere in spite of it. That is a sign of strong character. Always show high spirits and common-courtesy to let people know you're above all of it; even if they think their snobbish little cliques are all that, and bag of chips. Just consider the personalities of the people that comprise them. Alone, they are insignificant. In a gang, they think they can make others feel small.
Just remember, at the day's end; you leave them behind and your personal-life begins. If you keep a healthy family support-system; and build a regular circle of friends, you don't find yourself seeking acceptance and validation from people who go out of their way to make you feel rejected.
They are only important in their own minds, don't give them the satisfaction of knowing you agree with them. You left that nonsense behind in high school. Some just don't outgrow it. Maintain your confidence and dignity at all times. You might also consider a new job, maybe you just need a change of atmosphere.
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