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Why am I having thought about having passionate sex with my friend?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 October 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2017)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I think somethings wrong. I am in college, and one of my classmates, I have known since high school turns me on. Every time we talk and see each other (which is all the time, because we have the same major and minor) I have thoughts and fantasies about him. It's bad, and yesterday he was shirtless, and I was so close to kissing him. His face is nice, but what attracts me the most is his chest and his arms. I thought it was just physical attraction, but at the same time, I don't want hot sex I want passionate sex. Does that mean I am into him romantically, because I want romantic sex? We had a conversation about this girl he was going to ask out, and I got kind of jealous, but it wasn't because I wanted to date him, but because I knew if they went out, it wouldn't be long until they had sex.

I have never had sex, so I don't know why I am so attracted to him, but I need help. What is wrong with me. Why am I having thoughts about having passionate Sex with my friend.

View related questions: jealous, kissing

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (2 November 2017):

femmenoir agony auntYour hormones are definitely one of the factors behind your feelings, but also because you know and like this guy and he's pretty much the entire package.

The fact is, you're both more like buddies/mates, so you want to keep it that way.

Any type of romantic connection, will definitely change what you've both built.

Also, as you've never had sex before, you're obviously thinking about it and even curious about what it will be like.

It's a great idea to wait until you meet the right guy.

Somebody that you fall in love with and actually want to sleep with, not just the idea or the occasional fantasy about it.

This sounds moreso like lust to me and believe me, when you meet the right guy for you, you'll know within your heart and when that happens, you'll be ready for an intimate relationship.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (10 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNothing is wrong at all. You are still a Virgin and you are going to dream and think about sex, all off that is completely normal as your body now belongs to a woman, and women have needs. Don't worry it doesn't mean that you are in love with your friend, it just means that you appreciate him as a male and that is why your mind is wandering. The only advice I can give you is to hold out having sex until you are with someone you love and you feel comfortable with.

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A female reader, Ajah221 United States +, writes (9 October 2017):

Maybe it because your curious on how it would be to have sex Also it might be since you are so curious, you are using someone you have known for a long time to do try that with because after you know someone for such a long time, you build a trust. You probably want to try this with him, and it

doesn't help his body is attractive.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntHormones, honey. Nothing "wrong" with you.

Hormones are a pretty powerful thing. The reason HE is the one on your mind is that he feels "safe" and he is also attractive.

However, it doesn't MEAN you need to let your hormones control you. Keep nipping yourself in the bud when you start to fantasize about him in a sexual manner for the simple fact that he doesn't SEE you as a potential partner and you DO NOT want your first time to be an FWB thing or ONS.

He isn't the only hot guy out there, eventually, you will find someone for YOU. Just remember to BE in control, not let your hormones lead the way.

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