A
female
age
30-35,
*oxieMoron
writes:Okay so I have this friend and we've been friends for over a year now. Well the whole time I've known him, he's had a girlfriend. A few weeks ago, he dumped her and asked me to go out with him. I accepted and we have been together since the 7th. Now, everytime he tells me he loves me, I feel weird saying it back, not because I don't love him but because we were such close friends and now he wants to hold me when we watch movies and kiss me goodbye and I'm just not used to it. I don't want to break it off with him but I don't want to lead him on. He is really caring and funny and good looking and sometimes lazy haha but a good person, he has strong faith and is a family guy. Isn't that every girls dream? Why am I feeling like I'm losing interest already? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, FoxieMoron +, writes (23 August 2007):
FoxieMoron is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey guys thanks alot for your help I will think about it and see what happens. Thanks again!! :D
A
female
reader, skye  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 I wouldnt say that you are losing interest as such. I think you are having difficulty making the transfer from friend to boyfriend. You love him as your pal and find this situation a bid weird. No one can make you romantically interested in somebody. You either are or you arent. You cant control it.
Having said that, the best relationships are often founded on a deep friendship. Only you will be able to tell whether you can cross that "friend/boyfriend" boundry.
You quite rightly say that it would be wrong to lead him on. So if you feel your relationship would be better if you stayed as friends, then you should tell him soon. He will probably be hurt at first, but it would be worse if you left it anylonger. He sounds like a nice boy so given some time he should understand, value your friendship and respect your honesty.
Im sorry that you have this difficult decision to make but its the only fair way for both of you.
Best wishes,
Skye
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): yo
don't worry
iv met like "the guy of my dreams" hes kind caring funny sweet nice great in bed all that shit.
and iv bin with him for bout a month and i feel the same like its like meh, right?
i reckon its cos in the first bit its like "omg getting used to the relationship" so when youre with them youre not bored cos its just like a new experience.
but after a while you get used to being around them so its like part of you wonders why am i with him? do i want to be with/do i need him? kinda thing.
basically i reckon youve just gotta sit it out.
yourll either realise you wanna be with him or yourll get more and more bored with the relationship and itll either die or something like you cheating on him will happen (not saying you would cheat, just saying thats what sumtimes happens in boring relationship)
anyways, hope everything turns out well for ya
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A
male
reader, pavel38 +, writes (22 August 2007):
Sounds like he's keener than you, or perhaps more 'needy' than you. If he's a similar age to you & you've only been together for a couple of weeks to hear him saying he loves you all the time seems abit OTT. If he was with another girlfriend for a year & then immediately started dating you he sounds as though he needs someone all the time, has he got many friends etc ?. If I was you I'd tell him that you like him but need to maintain your own individual lives etc.
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