A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:He was deeply hurt by something he thought I caused. Time has passed and now he knows I did not cause the action. We talked about it and he has overcome this and sees he was wrong. But his reaction caused me extreme hurt and I mean extreme and he knows that. I still love him and feel that he loves me. I just think that he feels that I don't want to be with him but I do. I think we both want to be together but we are both afraid of being hurt again. Should I be the one to initiate things again? He has always been there for me as a friend whenever I needed him. But now we have been together intimately a few times in the past 2 weeks. I don't want to play a cat and mouse game, but I don't want to chase after him either. He said he has been spending alot of time alone. The other night was just like the beginning, a wonderful fancy dinner then we were intimate again. In the morning we talked and he even went in late to work. I just don't understand his behavior, was it just sex or is he afraid of his feelings and moving slowly. I don't know. Or am I just imagining things. Because with the typical man they would be chansing me now if they really wanted me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 Yours is a really good and interesting question. I too have been blamed for something I didn't do and my boyfriend in the end realised his mistake but the hurt and anger it caused me was extreme. My boyfriend also did not chase me and my firm belief is that because they thought wrongly of you and then found out that they were the one in the wrong then they should be the ones chasing.
As you two have been out to dinner and been intimate it appears from your post that the relationship is picking up again and so I don't feel you have to initiate anything. He is already there for you. Going into work late is a clear indication of this. Just play it cool, don't you ring or initiate unecessary contact and put the onus onto him. He is very keen and will most definitely call. If you feel deeply for him I would let the past die and not raise the issue of what happened as men seem to hate women that harp on about the past and go over and over things although I know we desperately need to go over every point for our own closure. If you can just let it be.
Very good luck to you
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