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Who should I be with...my ex or my fiance? I love them both!

Tagged as: Faded love, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 August 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 March 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *hillyluvgrl writes:

I have a major problem. I have been together with my fiance for just over 3 years. We have our ups and downs. I always find myself yelling at him but he will do everything from my laundry to rubbing my feet. However he has also hurt me in the past but hasn't since.. So I have these thoughts running through my mind when I think of my ex. He and I have been talking for about a month and even hung out a few times. He told me he still loves me and I think I may still love him but nothing has happened between us. I do love my fiance but I still have these feelings from my past relationship. He cheated on me, and thats why I left and found my fiance. My ex an I were high school sweethearts. I have fun with both my fiance and ex but I am just so mixed up right now I don't know what to do. I didn't know until now that you could truly love two completely different people. I want to be with my fiance, but I also think about what it would be like to be with my ex. What should I do?

View related questions: cheated on me, fiance, love two, my ex

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A male reader, Nath29 United Kingdom +, writes (19 March 2010):

I think it's more simple than you think.

In the greater scheme of life, the bigger questions can be easier than the smaller everyday questions.

Which bloke do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with?

Regardless of what either of them have done in the past.

Which one can you imagine having children with, growing old with and loving forever.

Gut feelings are usually right.

Best of luck and every happiness for your future :-)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009):

hii, i have the same problem. although ive only been with him for 6 month, so i can hardly relate to 3 years, my ex has been constantly showering me with compliments and he is so unberably sweet and im falling for him. i love my bf too but he isnt as sweet as my ex, i wish he was though. if your fiance has cheated on you, what will stop that happening again? moreover, your ex, how was he, did he ever treat you wrong? did he treat you better than your current man? if he did then personally i think you should give your ex a shot. if they are about the same, who do you think about the most, or who do you see things all the time that remind you of that man? im in the same boat here :) im making my decision tonight, its up to you :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009):

First of all you need to give credit to guy and urself that u moved up so far that u both decided to be engaged. With the case of ur ex, oh well he is an ex. U both could not work out and now became ex. If it would have worked u wud have been his wife by now.

Often in relationship something is always lacking. And it's hard to find every character u want in a single person. But it's u who have to find who has the most to offer. U can not base ur decision on single or few characteristic ur ex cud offer vs whole lot ur fiancé is offering.

It's our human nature to find solace in past if u r not progressive. There r six billion people in this world and u have that many choices. Frankly u need to move on with ur psyco ex and get ur lifes experience with this fiancé. If it doesn't work out... He is another ex, who cares? Good luck!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009):

With your ex, you cant go back. You can't boil your cabbage twice. With this one, yelling is not normal in a relationship. It is not working out. You may be going for the same types of men. Try a different type

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009):

b on ur own for a while.... c which one u miss most.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009):

Honestly,

You should leave both and take a good hard look at yourself and wonder what are you doing.

How about you tell your fiance youve been talkingt to your ex and then Im guessing you wont have to choose cos hell dump you.

How would you feel if he was flirting with his ex?

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (18 August 2009):

Danielepew agony auntYou should make up your mind, now. If you love the other guy, then go with him. If you love your fiancé, then stay with him and forget about the other guy. This is simple.

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A female reader, beachbabe Chile +, writes (18 August 2009):

beachbabe agony auntYou should think this over..

think who you really wanna b with & have a future with...

is your ex "huzzy" material?

think it over. =]

xo

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