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Who is going to give me away at my wedding? Should I walk down alone

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Question - (28 August 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, *uriosity18 writes:

I'm getting married. I'm really excited, but when I actually got down to think about the wedding and started to plan...I realize...who is going to give me away at my wedding? My stepfather since the age of 2 had passed away, I considered him as my real dad. And if he was here, He would've walked me down the aisle, instead of my real father. Me and my real father aren't really close, and when we do meet eachother...we act like we are strangers, and are shy around eachother.

My family has suggested I should choose a close family member, like...my uncle, or my brother (but hes like 7 years old!).

Thinking all about it made me really upset. I finally decided I wanted to walk down the aisles alone. If my stepdad was here, i knew he would be there with me, right beside me. So, just because hes not "physically" there with me, I know he will be there spiritually, and i don't want anyone to take his place on my special day.

is this wrong? is it okay for me to go down the aisles alone? Would it be unfair if i didn't allow my real father to do so, considering my step dad had passed?

Tell me your thoughts.

View related questions: shy, wedding

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A male reader, Perspicacious United Kingdom +, writes (28 August 2009):

Of course it's ok to walk down by yourself if that's what you want. It's your wedding - you make the rules!

That said, there could be practical reasons why you might want someone with you even if it's just someone to talk to and calm any nerves you might be feeling on the day (though I guess you'll have bridesmaids around too?)

Another thing to consider is it could be a way to begin to get a bit closer to your real father, if that is something you wish to do. Or even a way to involve your younger brother in your celebrations, and by having him with you it would still be rather symbolic that your step dad can't be physically there.

The bottom line though is do whatever works best for you.

Good luck!

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A male reader, 2old4this + , writes (28 August 2009):

2old4this agony auntI think most everyone would understand if your biological father doesnt do it. Ive seen people walk alone before also. But consider this; Having your real father walk you down may not be so bad. It could lead you two into a nice friendship instead of the awkwardness that you share now. Think about it. Also, I think it might be kind of cute and cool if your brother does it if no one else does. When the preacher asks who gives this woman away, it would be very cute to hear a little voice say, "her mother and I.".

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A male reader, Sphronas United States +, writes (28 August 2009):

Sphronas agony auntIt is certainly unusual to walk down the isle alone, but your motivations for doing so are completely understandable. If you feel that your stepfather was the only person who could have given you away, then it is very classy of you to honor his memory.

On the other hand, I think your family's suggestion is worth thinking about. If you are on good terms with your uncle, there would be nothing wrong with him giving you away in your stepfather's place.

Just follow your instincts and do what feels right to you.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States + , writes (28 August 2009):

Keep in mind, it doesn't have to be a man. If you're close with your mother, you can have her walk down the aisle with you as well. I've seen it done before. Of course it's okay to walk down the aisle by yourself, it's your wedding, your day...nobody will judge you.

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A female reader, Karlin24 United States +, writes (28 August 2009):

Karlin24 agony auntWhatever you have for flowers that you are walking down the isle with, add one flower that is totally different into it. That will stand for you stepfather. ex. if you have a roses, add an orchid into it. Know that's for him and he will be with you. Look up the county song "a dozen red rozes" and you will understand. And cry.

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