A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I found out last weekend that my boyfriend has been hiding texts he gets from a girl. We have been together a month and a half (we just got back together after being broken up for a year after being engaged). I found them by looking in his phone because i had a gut feeling he was hiding something, which i was right. all of his sent messages are automatically deleted, but ones from her said things like "goodmorning, good night, can i bring u lunch." he said they were just friends and that he kept it from me because he knew i would be mad. well, i messaged the girl on myspace and asked if anything was going on and she called me and said he never mentioned me until thanksgiving (when he invited her over for dinner with me but she never came). i had heard about her a week prior because he was trying to set her up with his friend. but i never knew they texted that much. she said he hung out with her the whole night at a bar when they went with a bunch of people , bought her a drink, walked her to her car gave her a hug and asked if she wanted to go downtown. she said no and she texted him a little later saying "have fun" and he responded "i'm not going since you aren't." then i guess another night he invited her to come over to his place so he could cook her dinner and they could watch movies. she told me she felt uncomfortable so asked if she could bring people and he said he didn't have a dining room table (which he didn't). I confronted my boyfriend a few days ago and he said that everything she told me was a lie. he got so mad and said if i'm going to believe him then i should just leave. so i did. then i guess he called her and got mad at her but she told him she just told me the truth and that she didn't think he was honest with either of us. he then told me that she just misunderstood things and that he never bought her a drink, only asked her to go downtown with a group of people at a later date, and never invited her over just the two of them. so my question is, who do i believe? i broke up with him because i can't trust him. shouldn't it be enough reason that he kept this girl from me in the first place?
View related questions:
broke up, engaged, got back together, myspace, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, werenotincontrol  +, writes (4 December 2008):
Well before this girl incident has he ever given you any reason not to trust him?
Does the girl seem like the type that will be with a married man?
Do you really think your man would lie to you?
Just a few questions at you should think of. I hope hes not doing the dirt on you:(
A
female
reader, hmb  +, writes (3 December 2008):
 My ex was constantly texting girls behind my back for nearly 3 years. I chose to believe him - why would my boyfriend who loves me lie right, these girls were just trying it on with him and didn't like that he said no - well i was wrong. When i finally got to the end of my tether with it all i went through his phone found nothing, went through his bedside cabinet in out flat and found a second phone i didn't know he had with all these girls numbers on and picture messages they had sent to eachother i even found directions to one girls house in his wallet! When i confronted him he got really mad and reacted the same as your boyfriend did which finally told me that if he had nothing to hide then he wouldn't get mad, yet alone have a secret phone and hide directions to girls houses, i ended up texting a few of the girls while he was out one evening and found out that they didn't know i existed! The best thing i did was leave him - it was hard because i loved him but the end of the day a relationship isn't worth anything if there is no trust between the two of you and the other girl has no reason to lie. Trust your gut feeling if you think he's lying then he more than likely is...sorry xx
...............................
A
female
reader, weirdness +, writes (3 December 2008):
It's clear this girl has absolutely nothing to hide, and by your man's reaction, he feels as if he has done something wrong, if I were you I'd find out how long he actually knew this girl, and ask him why he thought you'd be mad if she was just a friend, that's my opinion anyway, probably a bad one, but oh well.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ma Ma Sue +, writes (3 December 2008):
You done the right thing girl. If you cant trust him then their is no relationship. You will drive yourself crazy also wondering where he is, who is with, and questioning every thing he says. At the end of the day the "other woman" had no reason to lie, and getting the detail like the table is a big give away even if is a tiny detail. The way i always lokk at things is if you are not doinh anything wrong then you have nothing to hid. Why not tell you about her if she was just a friend? Ask yourself this if you had a guy friend in your life, and you met up with for drinks wouldn't you tell your man about it why hid it?
...............................
A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (3 December 2008):
 It doesn't sound like she has any real reason to lie to you, as she refused his invitations and the only thing she gained by telling you this stuff was anger from him. Those are not the actions of a girl who is looking to hook up with this guy. Unless you have reason to believe she dislikes you (unlikely, because it sounds like the two of you didn't even know one another before this) then yes, he has been lying to you. Don't reward the dishonesty by getting back together with him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): there is two possibilities:
either
1. this girl has tried it on with him afetr all the texts, he's given her the push off now she's telling lies to you to ruin it for both of you so she can have him
OR
2. your husband has been found out and is trying to hide it!! it must be one of them two.
but please try and get it sorted b4 christmas. i hate hearing about people's relationships breaking up at christmas time!
...............................
|
