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While away we grew close and I fell for him. But he has a gf...any advice?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Theres this guy at my orchestra, and he is 16 im 15, and wev recently all been away together.

Whilst we were away, me and this guy grew really close, and he flirted with me alot always hugging me, trailing me around, putting his arms round me etc. and yeah i really loved it and have started to fall for him pretty badly.

The problem is he has a gf, and i dont want to mess anything up with his gf. and tbh i dont know for a fact that he likes me, just everyone else seems to think so as well.

But im not sure what to do, i mean i always want to be around him and close to him, even becoming really close friends would be fine, but i always worry about his gf.

and i want to find out if he likes me, but i cant ask him out right oeriwse it'll be really akward between us, but i really dont know what to do lol.

Advice pleasee x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hes never said anythin about his gf before, but i know her and am friends with her best friend. And yes shes also a musician :/

But i dont want to ask him out right if he likes me, as it would create akwardness and i may have just got it completely wrong. But its ust annyoing me cause everyone keeps saying how they recon he likes me and im not sure what to do.

Hes never brought his gf into any conversation, and im not sure if he knows i know of her, but hes always like you would never do that cause you love me too much etc. :S

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A female reader, Honey Sweet United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2008):

Honey Sweet agony auntEither the boy is taking advantage of you, or just just joking around.

I know what its like to want someting so bad, but you cant have it. Especialy a guy.

Either, wait for the relationship to end, or wait untill his bird aint around him and tell him in private. And ask him to not say anything. Just in case.

And just let it go its own way after that. It might end happily or badly. Either way, the pain slowly fades away

I hope this helps a bit

Honey

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A male reader, Uncle Trev United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2008):

This is a difficult one. Has he said anything about his present girlfriend and what he thinks of her or what she thinks of him. Is it a strong relationship?

I know from years of experience that musicians are attracted to fellow musicians. We are like a breed apart and it sometimes takes a musician to fully understand another musician. (In terms of our emotions, perceptiveness, sensitiveness etc.)

I think you neeed to sit down with him and have a very long chat about his feelings.

A subtle way to do it would be to lightly ask something like if we were two drinks mixed together would we be make a "Gin and Platonic" or a "Whiskey and Sofa"?

It seems you don't mind if it is a relationship or a very close friendship so the best thing to do is to find out what he wants and take it from there. Just try to make sure that he is clear of this girlfriend before dating you to avoid any ugliness.

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