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Where do we stand in this relationship on our year abroad? Does he like me?

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Question - (22 March 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 March 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am British and he is from a European country. We are both on our year abroad in university. He is slightly older than me and we have been meeting in our university campus between and after classes for like two months now. I approached him and sort of asked him for his number after we spent some three hours together in January. Initially I did the texting for like a week, after which I stopped taking the initiative and left it to him. He then took over the texting aspect.

We constantly text each other in college to find out when we both are free so we can meet up. We went out on Valentines Day for a movie, coffee, lunch but no one wished each other. We have going for movies, lunches, teas walks during college hours when we are free and weekends but he hasnt made a move on me however he is always suggesting to meet up all the time. He is very caring and is always interested in my life and remembers stupid details from our conversations. We have amazing conversation for hours with extended eye contact. We have exchanged family stories and everything, its crazy. He tries to do all British-isms and speaks in a British accent which I find rather funny.

Once after a movie I joked a lot that his hair went all funny after leaning back on the movie seat. The next day he left college early to go to the hairdressers :) We have exchanged books and music stuff as well.

We go out for lunch all the time. Recently we spent ten hours together on the weekend. He lives far away from my house, he picked me up and dropped me home. On my birthday, we went out for lunch, movie and coffee and he didnt let me pay although we usually split the bill.

Its so obvious we like each other but does he just like me as a friend? One problem may be that my friends back home say that I can intimidate men because (I'm not being immodest) I am attractive and carry myself well and men apparently feel I'll reject them.

What do I do? I like him so much and want him to say something or at least make a move. Also he's rather shy. He was talking about good chocolate is in his country once and yesterday he got a huge slab of chocolate to university and because he is so crazily shy or just stupid in social situations, he couldn’t bring to tell me that he had got the chocolate for me and claimed it landed in his bag just randomly. He took it out of the bag, showed it to me, read the writing at the back in different languages, played around with it but couldn’t tell me it was for me- which it was. He is so painfully shy. I don’t think he can ever ask me out or tell me he likes me. His parents are aware of my existence, his father said hello to me over the phone.

Everyone we know thinks we are going out. Recently someone from his class teased him about me being his girlfriend in front of us and he went really red and laughed nervously for a bit.

Am I just wasting my time on a hopeless person? Or does he like me and can’t say it? Is it socially acceptable for me to tell him I like him? Back in the UK it is. Or is he saying nothing because we actually don’t have time left?

View related questions: move on, my ex, shy, text, university

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (22 March 2010):

boo22 agony auntYou've been seeing him for ages now, so if you think he likes you and you fancy him try holding his hand or moving in for a kiss.

If he doesn't respond then give it up cos he's a lost cause.

Good luck x

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A female reader, VictoriaK United States +, writes (22 March 2010):

VictoriaK agony auntIt sounds to me like he does like you, but he may be fearful of what will happen when you both go back to your different countries. If you think that a LDR would work, then tell him. He shouldn't be opposed to a girl asking him out, some men like women to be somewhat aggressive. Try asking him to have coffee with you, or something that wont be overly aggressive.

Good Luck!!

Victoria K

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