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Where do I stand in this? FWB but I get no respect and he insults me.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Crushes, Friends with Benefits, Health, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 December 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Im a first year student who has got into a friends with benefits relationship with a guy who doesn't respect me.

We had drunken sex in the first couple of weeks of university a few times, we then didn't see each other for a while but now it has started up again.

We only have sex when we're drunk. When we didn't see each other for a couple of weeks i heard from other people that he'd been slagging me off.

When i confronted him about it he denied it and said that i had annoyed him as i had ignored a few of his texts. After this we ended up having sex again and we have carried on doing so. I don't want a relationship but i feel like im becoming attached to him.

He still insults me sometimes but other times can be really nice and we get on really well. I just don't know where i stand with him and can never tell when hes being serious or not.

I feel like i should end it with him as he probably wouldn't miss me but id miss him..

View related questions: drunk, friend with benefits, text, university

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A female reader, ellsie96 United Kingdom +, writes (29 December 2015):

ellsie96 agony auntThis guy sounds horrible! Definitely end whatever it is you have with him and find someone who is way better for you! I'm a first year student too so we both know how many other nice guys there are who would love to spend time with you, it seems like you don't want anything too serious but you deserve to have someone who respects you and treats you as a friend, you know, which is what being a FWD is. Ditch that stupid loser because otherwise the tables will turn and he'll ditch you when someone better for him comes along.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 December 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou do so know exactly where you stand with him... you are a handy penis holder when he's horny.

He does NOT like you.

He does NOT respect you.

He can survive very nicely if he never laid eyes on you again

he will continue to take advantage of your liking him till you have had enough or he meets someone he likes.

FWB does not mean he just meets and uses you for sex... FWB starts with FRIENDS... he's NOT a friend... he uses you for sex.. he's a fuck buddy but he's not even that as he bad mouths you and disrespects you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2015):

Finish it. There is no alternative if you want to regain some self respect as he is just using you and you are letting him. Draw a line. After a while you will be glad you did.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2015):

By definition a FWB gets no respect...

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (28 December 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntYou say you don't know where you stand with him ...... you are somebody who is handy to have sex with, who still has sex with him if he slags you off or insults you ...

Which of the above are you going to miss? Being slagged off and treated like nothing more than a handy receptacle when he wants to stick his penis into something?

Get some self dignity happening, stop drinking to a point where having sex with this guy seems like a good idea, and find somebody who will at least respect you as a person.

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (28 December 2015):

This guy is a loser and he's bringing you down, too. Don't let him do that. Even if he tells you he wants a relationship his actions have already spoken louder.

If you continue on with this fellow, make sure you are using protection against pregnancy. You sure don't want this guy as the father of your child...he most likely won't be there for you or, if he is, he'd probably end up insulting you and your child.

If you are a first-year student there are likely guys at school who'd like to develop a relationship with you but are probably too shy to ask. Open yourself up and make yourself available to them. If they are good guys, they may not want to hear that you've been thru a FWB situation, especially with someone they may know and not respect. So it is best to break it off with Loser Guy right now. Go out, see the world and have fun.

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A female reader, Songwr1ter United Kingdom +, writes (28 December 2015):

I think you should end it with him. It's obvious, that it's confusing you, and if you're in university, where you have to study, you shouldn't have to add more worries on your plate. For him to insult you is NOT okay. He does not deserve your feelings for him. So end things with him, and find a nice guy, who supports instead of insults... Find a guy who'll respect you. You are a woman, not a sex toy for him, and so far, it sounds like he's just using you. It's hard, I know, but you'll move on.. Why waste time with someone who is treating you the way he treats you???

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 December 2015):

Honeypie agony auntCut him lose and then block him from texting.

It's NOT a FWB you have... you two are f-buddies without friendship and respect.

If all you want is some casual sex, find a guy who will at LEAST respect you and not talk mad crap about you behind your back.

And dear OP, what exactly will you miss if you drop him? The sex? Well that is fairly easy remedied, isn't it?

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