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Whenever we have sex I cry and want to be alone. What's wrong with me?

Tagged as: Sex, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay I need advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. We work together and when we met I had a boyfriend. I was living with my ex and he cheated on me. My boyfriend now was there for me and after a few months we started dating. He is an amazing guy and so thoughtful. He would do anything to make me happy but the problem is I never want to be physical with him. Any time we have sex itis for him and after I always have a horrible feeling. I almost always cry and want to curl up in a ball and be alone. I dont know what is wrong. Is something wrong with me or is it the relationship? please any thoughts?

View related questions: cheated on me, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i do trust him completely. more than any guy i have ever been with. it is not that i am afraid he will cheat, i know he wont. i tried to stay single for awhile but he wouldnt back down so i just said 'what the heck' and made it official. he knows that i am still hurting and he understands that. he doesnt pressure me to have sex but i feel like he deserves it every once in awhile i guess. i just dont know why i feel like this afterwards.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011):

I think I know what is wrong...you probably think that he's not going to be loyal like you're ex...as it's like you're being used only for his pleasure when it comes to sex...am I correct? You definitely need time away from getting into any relationships, as it's way to soon for especially this one right now...! If you really do feel like he only wants to use you...all for the pleasure of sex...then you should break up with him and have some time off before getting into another relationship again as I don't think you're ready to move on just yet...! I hope this helps! Good luck! =)

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (22 August 2011):

DoubleM agony auntWell I'm not the best relationship advisor, but have known of similar situations. I think it is often a sign that a sexual relationship is a bit too early. You might want to re-evaluate the relationship and take a break for awhile. You are very young - even a year or two without seriousness might make you a lot stronger in heart and mind.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (22 August 2011):

Moo's Mum agony auntKinda of sounds like you may have jumped into a relationship too soon after you were cheated on and never resolved the hurt in your own head. I would recommend some therapy to talk about how you feel.

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