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Whenever I'm ready to go in it goes soft like at the snap of a finger! Please help, how do I fix this?!?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 November 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2007)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a penis issue that was once a problem before i left to Iraq and i believe has just gotten worse. I can be aroused before sex, get the clothes off and condom on and ready to go in but when i do it goes soft like at the snap of a finger. What is up with that and how do i fix it? I dont have any STDs or other illnesses and i am definately not nervous or being my first time. Please some one help.

View related questions: condom, std

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A female reader, pgissyd United Kingdom +, writes (19 November 2007):

pgissyd agony aunthi anon, what are your dads reasons for thinking its e.d? you will have to explain wat that is, im not overly familiar with american terms im afraid.

however, if its definately not your frame of mind, then I can only suggest popping to the docs for some tests. I realise you have to pay in america, but if it turns out your unresponsive mini you, is a sign of an underlying illness like say... cancer, then isnt it worth it?

ttfn xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Alright to make sure that everyone knows the whole issue here. The girl that i am dating and trying to have sex with is very classic like and likes to be taken and doesnt do the oral or a massive amount of foreplay. I love to eat a girl out being that i have been gone fr 18 months. I dont think that its the condom because we did have sex once before with one so its not like "he" is nevering getting up. The main issue here is the fact that now.... after this time.... it wont come up. My dad thinks that it might be E.D. but i dont know. I am only 20 and dont feel Viagra is the way to go right now. I just would really like to know what the heck is going on so i dont drop massive money on a doc. Thanks for the responces so far.

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A female reader, pgissyd United Kingdom +, writes (17 November 2007):

pgissyd agony auntSounds to me like its mental state, dont worry about it so much. If your thinking 'Im gonna go soft' you will. Concentrate on more foreplay both ways and simply forget about the whole issue. You may find you have a lot more success.

men that blame the condom itself tend to forget its not the condoms fault, its their brains telling them so.

Dont try not to think about it, just dont. And if you do have problems, its not the end of the world, just go back to the freplay, many women prefer it to actual penetration anyway, and you may find you do too. If your not worrying thatyou will have complications, then if you do go soft and have the backup plan (more foreplay) you may find you re-harden and you can have another go. Please dont frustrate yourself if you still go soft after several atemps as frustration will only make it worse.

So basically 'relax and concentrate on having fun'. xxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

It's probably the condom - I've experienced the same thing. Next time rather than 'going in' just play around. Oral sex and hands can be far more arousing than penetration which doesn't do much for me. Give your girlfriend oral sex and ask her to return the favour. Forget about penetration for the moment and don't let it get you down - there are other (better!) ways to have sex.

Good luck!

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