New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

When I find out they like me, my feeling of attraction for them disappears...

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 October 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 November 2008)
A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, I'm 17 and I'v got a problem. For the past few month, when I get to a girl relationship wise to the stage I realize that they may in fact like me all of a sudden literally on the very same day that I find this out, all my feelings of attraction just seem to disappear. It's really getting on my nerves now. I mean, I have had a few relationships before, only about 3-4 months long and those have ended pretty well, but I'm also becoming less and less bothered about this relationship idea.

I have to admit that just before this started happening, I went through the stage of being a bit of a slag and just pulling random people at parties. But since I've stopped it's all gone down hill. I don't know what it's to do with or what to do to sort it out. Could I be gay? I'm really not sure?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008):

This is me.... and I'm a girl too.

Initially, I think I'm in love and it's wonderful, then as soon as the guy starts gushing and talking about the future, those feeling literally switch off. I can't explain it. They just go and being with that person makes my flesh crawl.

It's happening right now. I just started seeing a guy, who's given up a few things for me. And after 3-4 wks of seeing him, I don't want to know. I haven't told him yet. Don't know how. I keep thinking maybe I need to see a therapist.

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

i totally understand. i just stop having any interest as soon as i realize the guy likes me back.

i think it comes from just wanting whatever you can't have. it's not your fault, so just trust that when the right girl comes along you will feel the right way!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, epifanatical Australia +, writes (15 October 2008):

epifanatical agony auntself assurance? you love the chase? ego pampering? could be lots of reasons. We all want to know that we can attract. How we handle it past the intitial attraction stage is the issue.

Do you really go deep when trying to attract? Or just remain friendly? remember some girls react to deep flirting/flattery in a way that might make em think "oh this guy likes me" but if you are remaining friendly, then it shouldnt be a problem.

Its all boils down to what you want and are looking for. Ask yourself questions, Has the love game thing turned you off? Has it made you feel guilty? It all depends what the motivation behind the attraction is.. do you want friendship or something more?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (15 October 2008):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntIt sounds like you might be tired of just picking up someone from parties and such however if you like someone and when they return the mutual feeling you hit those brakes! Sounds like Committment Phobia to me. Then again it could be a lack of being positive about what you really want.

Think about the potential girlfriend. How does this person make you feel? Does she really interest you all that much? Is she just a passing fancy? You must first look inside yourself and figure out what you are really looking for. If you want something real and lasting then you must put aside your fears and commit to just one girl. Best wishes for you. You have plenty of time to get serious but be cautious of playing the field too long as you could really put off someone who really cares.

God bless,

Blue_Angel

^(**)^

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

I understand what you mean... i go through the same thing sometimes.. and i'm a girl. You like the feeling of the initial attraction to someone, the chase, and once you've "caught" your girl you no longer are interested. I bet you've hurt a lot of girls this way, i know i hurt a few boys...I figure its because you do like the girl at first, but she just isn't really what you want and you realize this after. Maybe you like the idea of a relationship but you just have not found the right girl. When you find the right girl you will still like her throughout the relationship. Be thankful you're on this end, cause its painful on the other side, i've been there too!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "When I find out they like me, my feeling of attraction for them disappears..."

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312908999985666!