A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a good happy relationship. But another guy we know seems to always pick on me, in a more aggressive way. Sometimes it's light teasing, but then out of no where infront of a group he'll put me on the spot and argue back at me...I don't even argue back, I just kinda go quiet and let him say his thing. He doesn't do this with any other girl, only me. I could understand if I was a 'mean' person, or said something completely out of line or rude...but I'm don't. Sometimes I'll say a small comment about a movie or how I like a certain food a certain way, and he'll just come out of no where and argue with me, like try to prove I'm wrong. Why??? I'm a sweet girl, I have a nice tone, very friendly, upbeat, happy...and he just seems to be moody around me. I've been nothing but nice to him. I've given him compliments, tried to have simple conversations with him, and sometimes he can be very sweet with me. But then bam, he goes hostile again. So I guess I'm asking, why would a guy randomly pick on a girl in a more mean way, like argue or make her look dumb infront of other people? When she doesn't even say anything offensive...And actually, he's VERY offensive and will say the rudest things most of the time, and if someone else, girl or guy says something kinda mean he just laughs with them and doesn't give them a hard time...Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2014): It does seem to bother you; and being human you do react. He picks up on it, no matter how well you try to hide it.
"Being nice" doesn't mean allowing people to walk all over you. Being "too nice" comes off as phony.
If it doesn't bother you, I'm not sure why you're curious about it? Like Honeypie says, it's because he's an "asshat!" Have you asked the opinion of your other friends about what they think? How come they never come to your defense or ask him to cut it out?
Maybe it's time to find a whole new group of friends. If his singling you out is as persistent as you claim. I wonder why no one else realizes or cares that he is bullying you? Maybe you have to look at the complete picture and assess whether any of these people are truly friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree, he is bullying. But I actually don't react, I don't appear sensitive, I don't show anything really, sometimes I actually just play 'nice' and agree with what he says or I just don't say anything and continue on, like nothing just happened...
When I say 'argue', it's very short, he just gives a negative comment to whatever I said or did. Sometimes he'll react even if I don't say anything at all...it's very weird. It's not like we go back and fourth, I NEVER do that with me, I never allow it. And whenever he comments, he never looks directly at me, he looks to the group of people around and kinda points at me and says something to make me look dumb or something...
So WHY does he KEEP doing it if I don't show any emotion? If he finding a reason to NOT like me, cause I'm just too darn nice, I believe in kindness kills...
I know he's a jerk for this, but honestly, I'm a very curious person, and want to know WHY someone would behave this way? Any ideas? It doesn't really bother me cause I'm better than that..but from a behavioural way I'm very curious..
IF he did have a thing for me, I wish I would know so at least I could pin it on that, and at least give him a break in my mind, I would get it...in a way...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (27 November 2014):
 He is a jackass, I agree.
He might be doing it because he enjoy rattling you. Which makes him a total ASSHAT.
I would ask him next time what his problem is? And when he starts to talk interrupt him a few times, see how he likes that.
Or simply ignore him when he pulls those stunts, like having to use the rest room or just walk away a minute to get a drink, magazine, look out the window, whatever... just to show that you have no more F's to give.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2014): It's best to ignore people like that, and not allow them to get to you. You may just rub him the wrong way, or remind him of someone he used to know; and apparently doesn't like.
Some folks like to bicker; and if they find someone up for it, that's their target. Don't engage him. Cut him off when he does it, and ask him why he always seems to bicker with you; but do it jokingly. Don't let him know he bothers you. He'll get his cheap thrills knowing you're oversensitive to his bullying. He knows he's a bully, and you shouldn't let him intimidate you. He chooses you, because you're the only one who takes him seriously. You may expect people to say he may have a crush. I doubt it. He's too old for that kind of behavior. It's bullying. Toughen up!
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A
male
reader, Forge +, writes (26 November 2014):
 He's just a jerk. It's as straightforward as that. Avoid him, he's a bully.
-Førg€
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