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What's wrong with me that I can't see that he's obviously not into me?

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Question - (15 December 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I don't know why I'm so into him and why I sit around waiting for him to call.

I've been seeing this guy on and off for a few months now. Seeing is actually an exaggeration, more like saw him once and text often.

I met at a party where he asked for my number. Since then we text almost everyday. We went out once and I thought it went well. I thought he thought it went well too since he asked me out again before the night was over. Long story short, he canceled on me twice and instead of being smart and moving on, I'm still sitting around waiting for him to call.

I don't even know why I like him, I mean, he's not my type at all. I don't usually go for guys like him, esp since he's an inch shorter than I am. But he's.......pleasant. There's no other word for it. I like talking to him, he makes me laugh. I like his personality.

But what's wrong with me that I can't see that he's obviously not into me? I realize that but can't seem to fully acknowledge it :(

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A male reader, LovelessAct1 United States +, writes (15 December 2010):

Well for one thing, you don't for sure what happened with him. Maybe he cancelled for good reasons? You never know. The only way you can really find out is to stop waiting around for the call. I suggest picking up your phone and calling (or texting, but calling is much more personable) and asking him if he still wanted to go out.

From here he can say:

A) Yes, in an excited manner; showing he is still interested.

B) Sure, why not; showing he's probably not interested anymore but has nothing better to do

C) Not sure; in which case he's being a coward and doesn't have the guts to tell you he doesn't want to go

D) No, sorry; which means you have a definite answer and can move on

I'm sure social protocol dictates that he must be the one to call you and that its a sign of "clinginess" for the girl to make the move, but in all honesty this is much much better than waiting around forever next to your phone.

I would give him one more shot and be done with it after that. If he says he'd like to see you again and actually makes plans for it, he's still interested. If he says "maybe" or "no," well then you can move on with your life :)

Good luck. I'm sure it'll be hard to gather courage to confront him about it, but I still think its your best move. Its just a waste of time sitting around and waiting and its no good for the heart :)

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A female reader, happy24birthday United States +, writes (15 December 2010):

happy24birthday agony auntDon't have any advice for you, but I can't wait to read what others have to say. I LIVE in this boat!

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