A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:What do you think is wrong with me? Please help me understand:)?For 2 years now I haven't felt like having a boyfriend.I've been single for 2 years now I just don't want to get to know a guy or go on dates. I've just lost interest in guys and dating. (I'm not gay) and I don't do casual sex either.I see good looking guys and some want to get to know me and take me out but I don't feel anything. Is like I don't want to get to know them or spend some time with them. I just want to be alone.Is weird. I'd give out my number to good looking guys but I'd dodge their calls and texts until they finally give up on me:(What is wrong with me? All my friends and family wants me to be with someone.What is wrong with me:(? I loved my ex so much but he lied, cheated and dumped me. Could that be why? I don't think all guys are cheats. I don't think like that.I'm 23.
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female
reader, Nicabeth +, writes (2 February 2013):
Hi I know exactly how u feel I finished with my bf 2 years ok 2 because of same reasons. There is nothing wrong with you. You just may not be ready for a relationship, or you might not be over your ex x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): OP are you happy with your life or are you lonely as hell sitting the corner rocking back and forth crying?
If you're happy then there's nothing wrong. You're a woman OP, most women see having a man as the pinnacle of their existence and they're only reason for living, otherwise they wouldn't put so much importance on it. I mean I have a few single female friends and all but one of them are very happy being single. Yet their mothers, their female friends all constantly hound them to get a man and think they must be miserable without one. It's really weird how women are still our slaves in that way. Literally incomplete without us. Raised in every way to think we men are the most important thing in your lives and the only thing you should worry about having. From birth you're given dolls to play with whose sole function in life is to get a guy. Princesses in cartoons all spend their entire existence trying to find the prince or looking for love. Every movie, TV show and book aimed at women is about getting a man. It's insane the amount of pressure you put each other under to not be single. You're born and bred to think there is something wrong being without a man, that you have to be unhappy without one. But that's a load of horseshit OP, if you're happy, you're happy.
OP you're young, you have years to let the right guy into your life, what's most important is you do it when you're ready and you do it for the right reasons. You have all the time in the world OP and as long you're fine with the situation as it is then don't bow to pressures of womanhood where everything in our society sill says you're a bunch of weak-willed over-emotional man-needing princesses. You're not, you only need happiness and despite what most women think a man is not the only way to achieve happiness.
Live your life in your time OP. When a person asks you why you don't have a man tell them you have the best vibrator in the market and great friends. Or ask them how do they know you don't have one. Or I have some things in the pipeline so to speak you don't have to worry there. OP women are strange creatures in that sense. I have never been pressured by other men about being single, not one guy has ever felt sorry for me for being single, in fact it was always the other way around, they envied the freedom and independence I had. It seems men miss more things about being single while in relationships and women miss all the relationship stuff while single. I'll never get it. I never felt loneliness based on my relationship status. I was happy while single or in a relationship, they both have a lot of cool things about them.
Again though Op there is nothing wrong with you just because you're no interested in men at the moment. You're just taking a break, do you really want to be as desperate as the rest of your gender not to be without a man?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Are you over your ex because when your still in love with someone it is near to impoossible so if you are then this is the case but if you are really over him then it might be because you have built up walls because of what your ex did to you. But if you are still unsure then you should talk to someone about it.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (2 February 2013):
 You don't need to have a boyfriend just because everyone thinks its what you should do. It's ok to be single! Maybe your heart is waiting for the right person. I say give yourself a break, if you don't feel ready then you're not ready. When the time is right you will get back out there. You are still young there is plenty of time.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (2 February 2013):
First things first; I'm pretty sure it's fear stemming from being hurt. You touch the stove and burn yourself and you might be afraid to cook.
If you're happy with things being the way they are then I wouldn't worry to much about it. Time will probably help you to get over it.
If you are feeling less than happy and a little lonely (or just wanting to change) then maybe you need to approach the situation the same as a bungee jumper would. You step to the edge afraid that something bad might happen, but you jump anyways knowing that once the fear goes away you'll have an amazing experience.
I had a couple of difficult break ups in a row and felt the same way you did for about the same amount of time (although celibacy wasn't for me).
Finally I started getting lonely and decided that, even though I wasn't wanting to get back into the dating life I needed to suck it up and start meeting people. After a few short term relationships I met the woman who became my wife. The rest is history.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (2 February 2013):
 It depends.You don't necessarily have to get back on the horse if you aren't "feeling it"--that's wasting everyone's time, isn't it? There's nothing wrong with a 2 year break or longer but it is worth thinking about what you're feeling when you're not interested. What's driving the numbness, boredom or disinterest? If you're just happy where you are right now without a man, keep doing that. 23 is still really young, you have tons of time to settle down. Don't let your friends or family make you feel self-conscious, they just know you're a catch ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): It sounds like you're avoiding the chance of a new relationship out of fear that it could turn out like the old one. You could be going through a phase of subconsciously thinking that all men are the same and you might as well just give up on finding love. There isn't anything wrong with you, you've just had a bad experience that has affected you a lot more than most people, maybe due to your young age at the time. There could also be other reasons for it, such as not having enough time for dating or just having some really good friends who make you feel happy without having to be in a relationship. I'm sure you'll regain interest eventually but maybe it's just something telling you that it isn't the right time for a relationship. There definitely isn't anything wrong with being single, in fact most young people prefer to be.
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