A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:whats the difference between loving someone or having a crush on them?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): I think that when you love somebody, you can be with that person and bein' wearin' the ugliest outfit in the world and look like a mess and they don't care. You're not afraid to say how you feel and what you think and you can talk about anythin'. And you know that your world would be hell if you two weren't together for life.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): a crush feels like when you're around that person, you become shy and nervous and you can't stop thinking about them but love is when you feel for this person for years and years and you can't stop thinking about them and they keep appearing in your dreams, you have no choice in your heart but to be with this person
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): To me lust is when you feel it from the groin and being in love is when it is from the heart as well as the groin.Also being in love is when it comes over you and you cant decide it, it seems to be separate from a cognitive decision, it stirs feelings deep within you, believe me if you are in love you know it.I am in love at the moment, I pray it will be reciprocated.I am 38 years old, by the way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): if you have a crush on them you like them and if you love them well, then you love them.But you should just try being their friends first and go along with that. who knows what would happen???????/
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (9 June 2007):
 My perspecitve of the difference of falling in love and really love someone:
- Falling in love just happens to you. You can't really control it yourself. It is like being on drugs. The hormones in your body tell you what to do and are reigning your feelings. It's a chemical reaction or emotional response. This is fun and can create amazing feelings! You can compare it with being drunk. The alcohol in your body makes you happy and you can forget your problems. So when you fall in love you are infatuated in that person. Your can forget all around you and your feelings and cogitations are with this person. You are just happy and don't see any problems.
- Real, deep, solid love is different. It is the decision to want the best for someone and to make this person happy. The feelings are different to the feelings of falling in love, and you don't always feel anything. But the cheerful feelings will come back again. This is not always the case with the feelings of falling in love. This feelings you will only have a few month or maybe a year or two. The disappear and they will not come back in the same form.
To make the decision to love someone really and deeply, you must know this person personally. This takes some time and can not happen in a few weeks or month. (Thats why I think its not a good idea to get married too soon!). But it is not enough to know the other person, you also must know yourself very well to see if the other person could be in line with you. For this one needs to be obtain a certain age and maturity. Nobody is perfect so one also needs to know the one's and the others quirks and to accept them. If you truly love someone then you respect this person for who he or she is. You love the person itselfe and not the great dream of it. And you don't want to change the person, but accept every bit of it. You don't have to agree with everything, but you can life with it. Misunderstandings are allowed and you may have some arguments, and even then you love the other person wholly. You can talk about everything and share your innermost thoughts and worries and there is a mutual understanding (or at least you try to understand the reverse side and accept it). Everyone can really trust the other one. Noone needs to wear a mask. Both parts can be their selfes and don't need to dissimulate.
It's not the whole answer, but hope it widens the scope of your picture of love!
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A
female
reader, Sincere_07 +, writes (9 June 2007):
A crush is something generally related to the younger generation, but anyone can develop a crush on another person. A crush is usally what comes when you don't actually know a person you have this image of them and that is what you are lusting after.
To relieve yourself from a crush you have to see the person in their true light. It has to be something that you would never believe the person would do, that usually shakes off the lustful feelings due to the person actually not being as perfect as you thought. Like a movie star, you get all their movies, books you even have posters of them, then you discover they are in re-hab or pay for sex. The jolt of reality is what cracks the perfect "can do no wrong" image in your mind.
Love is developed when two people get so close that warts, spots, bodily functions and mothers in law are no longer an issue. You can discuss anything be yourself and enjoy one anothers company. Sex and lust are only a small part of showing love for another person.
When you can be with someone and fully be yourself and be that comfortable you speak your mind. Being in love is when you put the other persons needs along side or above your own, actually caring for the other person enough to do things as a couple, and to also know when to let the other persons needs come before yours. It's about give and take, a two way street, sharing.
I hope this helps you x
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (9 June 2007):
 Love is a long lasting thing, where as lust tends to be more of a short term fixation.
Love is where you would do anything for someone, the one who is on your mind 24/7 from the moment you wake up, to the time your head hits the pillow at night. Love is where you care for someone else for than you do for yourself, the one who send butterfles racing round in you tummy.
Lust is more of the spur of the moment thing, like kissing quickly and passionately. Sometimes feelings of lust could turn into love over time.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (9 June 2007):
 I'm sure you'll have millions of different perspectives on this question but this is my understanding of the difference. A crush normally equals lust which is different to love in that it represents all that it passionate and spontaneous, like the urge to just grab someone and kiss them or to want to touch them all the time. Love comes when you're more settled in a relationship, when you've been together for a while, and that even though you still want to do the spontaneous and passionate things, just being together can give you as much of a thrill. In my opinion you can't be in love until you're in a relationship for some time and you can appreciate the little things as well as the big. Hope this helps.
CD
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