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What's a woman with all this new-found time on her hands to do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 September 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 September 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I suppose this isn't really a relationship question but more a guidance of career choices. I am unsure of what to do, however, so please read. Thank you.

I've been in a loving, committed relationship with my partner for 15 years. She is the hard working founder of a small, local business in a town that has not been tainted by Walmart yet (thank god), but which also employs 20 people (most of whom live within five minutes of us). I am also a stay-at-home mom of our three, beautiful children.

Speaking of - all of whom I was pregnant with by a young med-student donor (he has since become a full-fledged doctor in pediatrics). Our youngest has just entered preschool and attends between 9AM and 2PM. The problem has risen of whether or not I should stay being a stay-at-home mom.

I did go to college (in fact, our university is where we met when we were 19 but we were both in relationships with men). She went for her MBA and I did finish my Bachelor's in English with a certification to teach but I haven't done anything with my life besides raise these kids for the last eight years.

My partner says I should 'get back out there' but even if I haven't been in the market for ages, I realize that the current economy is still in shambles. I've read online that English majors are in no position to try and fight for the best that the market has to offer. That English majors are in for a rough ride.

That being said, now that our youngest is finally school age and I can possibly go back to school if I choose to, I'm wondering what should I do? The last almost decade of my life has been dedicated to children and I can't really see myself doing anything other than working with them. I know I went to college all those years ago for a liberal arts degree but I find I'm really fascinated with science and health. Should I pursue that?

I'm actually unsure if my Bachelor's would be valid anymore. Certainly not my teacher's certification? I do want something that will have me home by a certain time, though. My partner works 5AM to 8PM five days a week, including most holidays (life of the dedicated business owner), so she doesn't have much time for the kids. Note: She HAS been the sole bread winner since I gave birth to our first child. But those kind of hours terrify me as I feel I will never see my babies.

What's a woman with all this new-found time on her hands to do?

View related questions: my teacher, university

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2013):

Maybe you're just overwhelmed with decisions on what to do!

I wish I had a degree... It's too expensive now, not really an option... You can do whatever you want with a degree and vision- what would be your ideal job? Maybe with your science you could do something like art therapy.. Or a psychiatrist, would love to be either of those...

Think about something that you're just going to visualise over and over again until you achieve it... I'm kindof doing this at the moment, just take it step by step and go for it...

Maybe learn a new language... Like a really hard one like Chinese or something! Lol! :)

Just have fun with whatever you do and try and fulfil the vision you have in your mind :) xx

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (19 September 2013):

Intrigued3000 agony auntI think this is a great opportunity for you to explore your passions. What Sageoldboy1465 suggested about volunteering is another way to explore your passions. You're financially taken care of and the kids are all in school. This is a great time to explore your hobbies. I would recommend that you take a look at the courses that are offered at a nearby university or college. Perhaps you would like to upgrade the skills you already have or you want to try something new. What do you like doing? How can you convert this into a career? Create a vision board for where you see yourself in the next ten years. It could be a combination of personal and professional goals. Then start mapping out how you are going to achieve them. What courses do you need to take? How many volunteer hours are required? This can also count as work experience on your resume, and then work towards it.

You're the captain of your own ship. Decide a destination, plot your course and away you go.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (19 September 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThere is no limit to what you might do in/with your "newfound" time... Heck, you're only in your 30's!!!

First, I suggest that you drop the "....I realize that the current economy is still in shambles. I've read online that English majors are in no position to try and fight for the best that the market has to offer. That English majors are in for a rough ride.".... schtick.... which implies that you are convinced that there's nothing rewarding or fulfilling to do.... BECAUSE,....

... you then segue in to the list of the kinds of things that you'd LIKE to do..... Soooooo, go for them!!!!

If the "regular" and "for pay" market isn't going to take you in... then VOLUNTEER..... at a school, library, Boys and Girls Club... someplace/anyplace where YOU get to stretch your mental muscles and get a new and different view of what the world "out there" is like today....

With that.... and the networking that results from it... I'd be astounded if you don't come upon a "for pay" position which will fit closely with your preferences...

It's worth a try... Now, take a deep breath, puff out your chest and announce "Look out, World, here I come...."

Good luck....

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