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What sort of things will make a girl "horny"?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 May 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, *ervousSexDude writes:

My girlfriend claims she's never been "horny" which both kinda slaps me in the face and worries me.

Firstly cause, we've done stuff (not sex or oral but stuff) and if none of its made her horny then i dunno what will. Can you help in that aspect?

Secondly cause i feel she's missing out (silly as it may sound).

So i guess my question is what sort of things will make a girl "horny"? or what sort of things make you or your girlfriend "horny"?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):

I'm a girl and I've never been "horny" as you put it - I don't have sexual attractions to other people, or sexual feelings, and no desire to have sex. Why? I'm asexual. It's quite rare, only about 1% of the population, but it's certainly possible that your girlfriend just has no sex drive and is afraid to admit to it because she'd think you would be upset that she has zero interest in sexual activity.

On the other hand, it might be that you're just not pressing her buttons. It's easy for a guy to get off during sex, but women require clitoral stimulation - and directly touching the clitoris can be painful for a woman. You say you've never had sex or oral sex, so I think you mean over-the-clothes stuff - right? Not all girls get aroused by heavy petting. You may just be jumping the gun here. Until you have sexual activity, how will you know whether or not she can be "horny"?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008):

Maybe she senses your strong desire to put her on a pedestal so you can see a girl when she is horny. Your not desperate to see her horny are you? No one wants to be with someone who is desperate.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (11 May 2008):

Stayc63088 agony auntHa well I may be the wrong person to ask, many things do for me. Kissing my neck does it. Just making out always does it. Um other things I can keep to myself. So you are saying she has never been horny? Like ever? She is either lying to you, she doesn't know what horny means, or she has a serious issue. So she can watch porn or something really sexual on tv and feel nothing...? That I don't get. Maybe try watching porn with her and if she isn't comfortable get a movie you know has a sex scene in it that maybe she hasn't seen. It may not be every girl gets horny from it though maybe just me. Not to be mean or insinuating anything but you are sure she is really into you? I know I couldn't get horny with guys I wasn't really into. She may be lying to spare your feelings of "other guys made me horny, just not you.." I could be totally wrong though so don't worry. She could have some medical issue? I really have no clue, I can't imagine not being able to get turned on. Good luck and try out what I mentioned, something is bound to do it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008):

Yeah, i highly doubt she's never been horny, maybe she doesn't know she is, but she definitely would know.

I miss being horny... for more than a year, I've lost my drive. I hate that, I dunno why it happened. I just stopped being horny. I'm 19, I should be at my horny period still! Lol

Back to your gf, maybe she is too nervous when you do stuff, so she can't let go, relax and have fun. But it's unlikely... it never happened to me when I was starting to become sexual.

I really don't know what else to say, as Toasty made excellent points!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008):

She's totally lying.

And if she isn't, I don't know what's wrong with her. :(

Being horny could be caused by a sexual thought or fantasy, a sensation caused by jeans on the clitoris, a sexy sight (her boyfriend's butt, muscles, etc), a sexy or somewhat vulgar comment, stimulation from your fingers, oral stimulation, a slap to the butt in a playful manner, a deep kiss, having her breasts massaged, etc. So many different things could turn a girl on, it's not even funny.

When *I* get horny, it's like a warm, pressure-ish feeling around the entirety of between my legs. My scalp gets hot, my muscles tense slightly (all over), and my breathing increases, but the breaths are short.

If she's never been horny...well, I don't really know what to tell you.

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