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What should I talk to my crush about? And when should I tell him I'm gay?

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2011)
A male United States age 26-29, *ock up11 writes:

Hello :),

This is kind of two questions but I could really use your help...so I'm a gay teenager, still in highschool and still in the closet. There is this really cute guy that I started talking to a few days ago and I know almost NOTHING about him. We text each other and neither of us are the type to talk a lot so I've just asked him some basic questions (what do you like to do, how was your day, etc.) and I don't know what to talk about. So my first question is what are some things we can talk about. The second part of my question is when should I tell him I'm gay; should I wait until I trust him enough or tell him asap? Any advice is appreciated. THANKS :)

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (14 July 2011):

AvgGuy1 agony auntOften, WHO he hangs out with is an indicator of who/what he likes. This is especially true in High School.

If he hangs out with/participates in sports... then he's most likely interested in sports. Ask him if he's going to some specific upcoming event, which team he roots for, does he play, which position, etc.

If he hangs out with the musical/artis types ask him if he sings, plays an instrument, paints, sculpts, photographs, is in a play or musical, etc. Ask him who his favorite artist (Monet, Picasso, Maybe someothing/someone modern)/musician (Classical, or otherwise, maybe his favorite band/DJ/???)

Maybe he's just yer 'average' type and doesn't hang out with any specific group. That's where it gets a little more difficult... BUT... all you have to do find out what he does on his weekends. Text him a little more often (especially during the weekends)... tell him what you're doing and you were just wondering what he was up to.

If you have classes together... you can suggest studying together or working on some assignment together.

In short... there's ALL KINDS of things that you can do to get to know him a lot better...you just have to use your imagination a little.

As for coming out to him right away... since I sounds like you are not already... and you don't know him that well... it's PROBABLY not a good idea. Coming out to someone is a highly personal and can be social suicide - especially in high school where kids can be vicious. You should only be coming out to those closest to you.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (14 July 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntThere is no specific set of questions to ask someone to keep the conversation going. It sounds like you are both shy but just ask what comes to mind. That is half the fun of getting to know someone, sometimes there may be awkward moments but that is all part of getting to know each other.

As for telling him that you are gay. Even though you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself, I think if you are still in the closet well then you should wait until you get to know him more and trust him before telling him something so big about yourself.

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