A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so we've been together for 3 months now. He's a very laid-back guy. He's been single for 2 years before he's in a relationship with me now. During the workin days, we never see each other because he's mentioned it before that he'd be very tired during those days. I understand that, so I come over to his place during those days. We never called pet names and he never said "I love u" to me. I just take it as a sign that he's not a romantic type of guy. Although he mentioned this twice sayin that "he's very thankful that he've met me.. Bla bla bla..". And recently, I feel that he is getting bored of this relationship.. Especially, after I told him my conversation with his mom which is few days ago. Well, his mom told me that he's having a very serious relationship with me. Her mom also told me about his ex, which he also have told me before. Then, he came up to me and asked about what we're talkin about. So I told him that. Since that day, it seems to me that he's tryin to pull himself away from me.. Or maybe its just my feelin. I dunno... Well, he still calls me everyday, but it sounds different to me. He always replies my text with a very short reply, which is so not him. Did I make the wrong choice of telling him about that?We have a plan on this december. We've planned this 2 months ago. I'm just scared that he's been keepin me just because of our trip on december. What should I do to keep him interested with this relationship?What are the signs of a guy getting bored with his relationship?Any advice or suggestion from you will be much appreciated.Thank you!
View related questions:
his ex, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Y_Java  +, writes (29 October 2009):
You could bring it up, see what he says etc, and hopefully this could prompt him to start to communicate with you properly and tell you how he feels more and not be so laid back about it because its causing you to be confused about where you stand in your relationship and tbh you shouldnt be feeling like this so early on in the relationship. Its gonna take a while before you understand his mentality anyway so try not to take things too personally it may just be the way he is. Find out why he is soo laid back theres probably more to that
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's not very commucative about our relationship. So, back2gether, you're right he wud deny it if I ask him. Like in the past 3 months, he never complained about anything. Even if its my mistake, he doesn't talk about it. Like 2 weeks ago, we had a small problem, which I knew it's my mistake, but still he didn't talk about it until I came up to him with the topic cos I found that he's upset with me. I told him why he didn't talk to me in first place. He just said that its the sight of me that he's never seen and. So I was like, "yeah but I'm not a mind reader. If u don't talk to me about it, how wud I know about that." I told him again that I am a human and I cud do mistakes, but he needs to tell me if I've done something wrong. Like I said he's not very communicative. Either he is very laidback and doesn't wanna make things complicated or he just doesn't care. See, there's a very thin line on these two.
I'm not tryin to move things a lil too fast. We've talked about this before, the topic just came out. He knew that I'm the type of girl who's a bit afraid of marriage (result of getting hurt too much in the past) but I am committed to a serious relationship. We both know that we won't rush things. He once told me that he wanted to get married in 2 years but i didn't tell him when I wanna get married cos in fact I don't know. I'm just not ready for such thing yet. He told me as well that he's having a serious relationship with me and wud wanna get married with me someday but lookin at the age of our relationship is still young to even talk about it. So, it looks weird to me if he's backing off just because of what his mom told me, when in fact he knows that I'd like to take things slow and I won't nag him about it.
From what I observe, the relationship between he and his mom is very close, since he's the only son. He respects his mom and is treating his mom nicely.
Can I just ask him whether the thing that his mom tol me scares him a lil bit? And explain him that I won't rush things, etc...
...............................
A
female
reader, Y_Java +, writes (29 October 2009):
I think you may be expecting too much too soon. Like you said he's a laid back guy and you both have only been together for 3 months. He's probably just trying to get back in the swing of things like you said his last relationship was 2 years ago. He may lack in confidence a bit hence the distance he seems to be creating between you to. Best thing you can do is to talk to him, tell him how you've been feeling and find out how he feels about you...see where you both stand and get it all out in the open before you go on your trip.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (29 October 2009):
 Your relationship is too new to worry about so many things and if your b/f feels like you (and his mother) are moving things a little to fast, it may make him back off a bit. You could simply ask him how he feels about you, and where does he see the relationship going, but most men hate that discussion because at 3 months, they don't have a clue. They are usually happy if they're having sex with you on a regular basis, and you don't nag or bug them about other stuff. Sometimes that is the best way to "steer" the relationship, is to just enjoy the time you have, be in the moment with him, don't nag, don't bug, don't push and don't allow his mother to plan your wedding before he's even said he loves you. Just hang out, be kind, be patient, and observe. You can learn alot of clues by just listening and you can start by how he treats his mother and what their relationship seems to be like. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, back2gether +, writes (29 October 2009):
He asked you what you were talking about, and you answered honestly. You didn't do anything wrong. It sounds like he may be a bit reserved so it may be difficult finding out what is wrong with him. I would ask him why he is treating you coldly. He may try to deny it, but tell him you feel like he is treating you differently and say you want to know why before things fall apart.
If you don't do something, he may keep treating you this way and you'll never know why. The longer you wait, the harder it could be to make things right.
...............................
|
