A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I were discussing past relationships when he stopped me and started to yell at me stating that i did NOT tell him about one of the guys. I know for a fact that I did, i remember the conversation clearly but he is so set saying that i never told him about this guy and all i said about the guy was that he liked me (smh). I feel as if I should be waving my white flag because I have already done enough by continuing to explain to him that we did talk about it and i did mention it to him but it seems as if he doesn't want to hear it and is so set on me being a "liar" (he's saying that i'm lying about saying i told him about the guy already)What should I do? give him space? wait for him to reach out? I don't want to contact him first because i already stepped out of my character by trying to explain PLENTY of times, I respect myself and i will not admit to something i did not do...:( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Sometimes , it is not about who is right or wrong. It is about getting back on track like the good times.
Whatever you do becomes unimportant if it can bring your relationship back on track.
The wise and the mature will do anything to get the final results.The final results is what counts.
If you are gonna wait for him to take that step, it may take a long long time or it may never come at all.
When this thing is left to fester, the problem becomes more harder to resolve .
Since both of you will not bulge from your hardened positions, nothing will be done to solve the impasse.
Some one will have to give way.
Either you go to him and do what is expected from you or you are going to lose this relationship.
The choice is yours.
A
female
reader, chloeapple  +, writes (1 March 2010):
Ditto. Who cares if you did or didn't tell him anyway? I've been married to my husband for three years and every now and then i find out about ex girlfriends and past dates i've never heard of. If it was a friend or something that you both see all the time, i could see why he might be a bit miffed if he thought you hadn't told him.
It sounds as though his reaction is completely out of proportion. Caring Guy is right- unless you have given him a reason to be insecure about your past, he sounds emotionally controlling. To be honest, he is dealing with this problem in a very immature way and you know how you want to be treated. I'd make it clear that this is not the way to deal with issues going forward, and if he can't see that, make a decision about how much you want to put up with.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 I don't understand why past relationships are up for discussion in the first place.
Give him space, lots of space, run, don't walk, you dont need petulant hissy fit throwing people like this in your life.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 March 2010):
Unless you have cheated since you have been together, there is no reason for him to feel this way. Certainly wait until he gets into contact with you, and then explain that you are not a liar and will not tolerate being treated as such. Usually, this is the sign of someone who is too insecure and controlling to be a useful boyfriend. Think carefully about whether you even want to be with him after this.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Have you been with anyone since you two have been together? If not nothing has changed from the time you did or did not tell him to the time you say you did and he says you didn't, right? I'd wait for his to contact you, then I'd say, "I feel strong that I did tell you, if I didn't I apologize, with that said, cut the crap or find another girlfriend to take your frustrations out on."
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