A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok now it's probably a dumb question but for years im thinkin am i gay.. am i bi.. am i str8..i know there shouldn't be a name to describe ur sexualality but it does paint a picture of who u are. i have been with men and have been with women. now i find women are really attractive and want to get married someday have kids etc etc.. but i am attracted to penis. i watch all sorts of porn including gay porn and have been mixed up for quit sometime.. i have given head to guys about 5 times in my life and enjoyed the experence. i havnt done it in a while though. and lately havn't been with a women so im goin through a dry patch at the moment. it's just also hard to think i could be gay or bi with the experience ive had.. i have stopped myself doing anything further with guys becuase the more i do it the more id probably like it... plus i'll probably turn gay if there is the slightest chance i still may be str8.. like i said i havnt met the right girl yet to sweep me off my feet to build a future with but at the same time i have these other feelings...what should i do?? and where do u think my sexuality is heading?? one more thing to add watching lesbians have sex appeal more to me than watching 2 guys but at the same time i do get turned on waching gay porn.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (24 January 2010):
Human sexuality cannot be defined in black and white. There is a range of preferences (google the Kinsey scale). Only about 10% of people are exclusively gay and another about 10-15% are exclusively straight. The rest are a range of preferences, although many never act on their urges because they are largely transient. Eg. A predominantly straight women may be aroused by lesbian porn but other than that she is not interested. In your case however, you may need counseling with a sex therapist to help you work it out. There often really isnt much to gain emotionally from promiscuous behavior. Whilst you may not want to settle down right now, it all boils down to self-control regardless of your sexual orientation. Any relationship where you choose to settle down will require commitment and faithfulness on your part to have a stable home life. So while you enjoy this wild ride, start thinking about the implications of monogamy before you bring some poor woman into a huge mess.
A
male
reader, Alexx  +, writes (24 January 2010):
Does it matter what type of porn you like or do not like, you are sexually expressing yourself. As for sexual acts with guy and girl, I would say you are more curious. Many straight men like to be penetrated or dominated my women and enjoy anal sex, this doesn't make them gay it means they express themselves.
If you want to get married and have kids fine do so but don't mess a woman about get married then cheat with a guy (happens a lot!). I would say just look for someone to love and be with, someone who makes you happy and understands you, does it matter if the person you love is male of female? two guys can still have a family, marrage isn't the best thing in the world. Just try and be happy with yourself.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 January 2010):
Sounds like you are bi-sexual.
My personal view on this is that any bi-sexual person can settle down and be monogamous and faithful. They just have to meet the right person (and watch porn to quell their urges.)
However, we live in modern times. People are a lot more understanding and you may meet a woman who is happy for you to go off with a gay guy every now and then as long as she knows you are careful and committed to her.
You may even meet a bi-sexual girl and have a mutual arrangement.
The point of all this is: It's all fine. Just carry on and live your life. If you want to experiment further with men then do it. See what happens.
Life is just a ride. Enjoy it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): I think your sexuality is crystal-clear. You're bisexual. You get aroused by both sexes, and there's no realistic prospect of you being able to 'switch off' either side. Probably because, let's face it, LOTS of men and LOTS of women in this world happen to be very very sexy.
This is a blessing, you get the best of both worlds. The only real difficulty arises if, as you say, you aspire to a monogamous relationship with a wife and kids. Unless you're lucky enough to locate a phenomenally understanding and forgiving female partner, this will mean you don't get to suck off guys any more. Hard choice, and you'll need to weigh up the pros and cons if and when you reach that point.
(Similarly, although it's true that many gays aren't big fans of monogamy, a faithful settled relationship with a man will also require you to resist acting on your attraction to women).
'I have stopped myself doing anything further with guys becuase the more i do it the more id probably like it'.. by this I assume that you've resisted the urge to receive anal. It isn't my place to tell you what to do, but I'd recommend you go for it with the right guy, for a couple of reasons: 1) It feels incredible and 2) It may well leave you far more sure about your sexuality. I'm working on the assumption that you have had penetrative sexual intercourse with females, so if you know you want it, it seems sensible to see how it feels with a man, and you can then work out where you stand on the sexuality spectrum and make your life decisions on that basis. A good seeing-to from a hot guy may well have an extremely profound impact on your sexual identity and how you define it.
As far as your porn preferences, don't read too much into it. I'm 90% gay ('110%' according to a girl friend of mine, but I've had sex with her so I can't see how she worked that out) but generally prefer straight porn...go figure. I've also read posts from aunts on this site who are obviously hetero and love lesbian porn. It doesn't really have too much bearing on what gets you going in your own sex life.
Best of luck!
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